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Mark's Guide to Whose Line is it Anyway?


Episode Guide

Series Nine (1997)

9.01 / 9.02 / 9.03 / 9.04 / 9.05 / 9.06 / 9.07 / 9.08 / 9.09 / 9.10 / 9.11C / 9.12C
9.13 / 9.14 / 9.15 / 9.16 / 9.17 / 9.18 / 9.19
(C = Compilation)

NB: In this season, 7 'extra' episodes were screened some time after the compilations. Made from the same set of tapings, they often feature the same introduction as a regular episode, and even share parts of games in some cases.


9.01

First Broadcast: July 10, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Rory Bremner, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Rory - Princess Diana, Colin - 1940s gangster squealer, Ryan - Hollywood star doing photo shoot.
  2. Animals: Colin a sheep being comforted by his mother (Greg) after a bad first date with the local stud ram (Ryan).
  3. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Longer Than I Am Wide". Colin (co-anchor) - listening to a horse race on his walkman while the show's on and his horse is actually winning, Rory (sports presenter) - Bill Clinton, Ryan (weatherman) - turning into a werewolf.
  4. World's Worst: Person to present a 'Joy of Sex' video.
  5. Props: Colin & Ryan - three linked rings (snowman outline), Greg & Rory - black tubes/ship funnels.
  6. Newsflash: Nudist colony. Ryan & Colin anchor, Rory reports.
  7. Mission: Impossible: Putting on a pair of tights and waxing a bikini line. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
  8. Hoedown: World Leaders.
Winner: Rory Bremner.
Credits: As Peter O'Sullivan commentating on a horse race, the others jockeys behind him jockeying for position.


9.02

First Broadcast: July 17, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Karen Maruyama, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Superheroes: Perishing elastics (and painful nipple erections). Greg - Mr Muscle/Mr Zimmer (Walker) Man, Ryan - Seductive Eating Man, Colin - Incoherent Boy, Karen - Shampoo Commercial Girl.
  2. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Karen - A call girl, Colin - first-time nudist, Ryan - thinks Greg is the ugliest woman in the world.
  3. World's Worst: chat-up (pick-up) line.
  4. Dead Bodies: A boyfriend and a girlfriend on a beach (Ryan & Karen - start dead) when a muscular rival (Greg - enters and dies) comes along. Colin moves.
  5. Mission: Impossible: Catching hairy caterpillars. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
  6. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. Karen - infomercial for exercise equipment, Colin - keeps waking up during an operation, Ryan - dog in a car.
  7. Hoedown: Giving birth.
Winners: Greg Proops, Ryan Stiles & Karen Maruyama.
Credits: As three people looking back at their school yearbook.


9.03

First Broadcast: July 24, 1997 - Intro
Mike McShane, Brad Sherwood, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: Scenes from a passionate French love story.
  2. Sound Effects: Arriving at the honeymoon suite with his wife on the wedding night. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  3. Number Of Words: Frankenstein. Ryan - Dr Frankenstein (3 words), Colin - monster (2 words), Mike - Igor (1 word), Brad - Chief of Police (5 words).
  4. Hoedown: Tight Trousers.
  5. Weird Newscasters: Brad - anchor "Bert Sandalwood". Colin (co-anchor "Carl") - a bad stand-up comedian, Ryan (weatherman) - Elvis Presley, Mike (sports presenter "Friendly") - has been sacked and this is his last day.
  6. Party Quirks: Brad hosts. Mike - tyrannical European conductor, Colin - can't stop doing Riverdance, Ryan - various things caught in a tornado.
  7. Moving People: Ryan on a very early emergency call to Colin's farm to deliver a calf.
  8. Greatest Hits: Songs of the DIY centre (hardware store) - Ryan & Colin introduce, Brad & Mike sing.
Winner: Mike McShane.
Credits: As a Latin-American dictator making a speech, whilst behind his back the others are renegade/disrespectful generals mucking around when he can't see them.


9.04

First Broadcast: July 31, 1997 - Intro
Josie Lawrence, Stephen Fry, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: Scenes from Ancient Rome.
  2. Film and Theatre Styles: Josie hijacking a plane, Stephen the pilot. Prisoner: Cell Block H, Bill & Ben, World War II Movie, American Soap Opera (Dynasty).
  3. Sound Effects: Looking for thrills at a fairground. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  4. Number Of Words: Romeo & Juliet. Ryan - Romeo (3 words), Josie - Juliet (4 words), Stephen - Juliet's disapproving father, a Capulet (6 words), Colin - his wife, Lady Capulet (2 words).
  5. Props: Colin & Ryan - orange 'tongue', Stephen & Josie - long bendy poles.
  6. Let's Make A Date: Josie questions. Stephen - trendy vicar, Colin - hates everything English, Ryan - is eating a tremendously hot curry.
  7. Newsflash: King Kong. Josie & Ryan anchor, Stephen reports.
  8. Hoedown: Marital problems.
Winner: Stephen Fry
Credits: As somebody who's reporting on the opening night of an opera, with the others as opera stars arriving just as things are going wrong.


9.05

First Broadcast: August 7, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Superheroes: Pants are getting too small. Greg - Captain Caterpillar/Caterpillar Man (and Captain Useless), Ryan - Cat Cleaning Himself Man, Colin - Nude And Proud Of It Boy, Steve - Nipple Tweak Boy.
  2. Film and Theatre Styles: A top gun pilot (Greg) on an aircraft carrier, trying to get his plane checked because he needs it urgently, and a mechanic (Steve) trying to make the final adjustments. Hospital Drama, Swedish Porn Movie, Beavis & Butthead, Hammer Horror, Pride & Prejudice.
  3. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Longer Than You Could Possibly Imagine". Ryan (co-anchor "Billy") - thinks he's back in 'Nam, Steve (financial correspondent) - a compulsive gambler, Colin (weathergirl "Sheila") - recently split up from Greg.
  4. Moving People: Two high-tech criminals stealing a famous painting from the gallery - Ryan & Colin.
  5. Props: Ryan & Colin - feathered rings, Greg & Steve - open-ended black cone.
  6. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. Steve - prisoner on a roof-top protest, Colin - has a stomach full of fireworks, Ryan - someone's holiday snaps.
  7. Sports Commentators: two rival businessmen sitting next to each other on an airplane. Steve (Jimmy Rowbottom) & Greg (Nubsoo Tucker) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
  8. Hoedown: Weddings.
Winners: Colin Mochrie & Ryan Stiles.
Credits: Ryan as a temperamental French chef, Colin a waiter coming in with the orders.


9.06

First Broadcast: August 14, 1997 - Intro
Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles
  1. Superheroes: Acid Rain. Colin - Captain Buttocks/Promiscuous Man, Ryan - Can't Move Without Hurting Himself Boy, Brad - Hilarious Punchlines Boy, Steve - Professor Hugs-Too-Hard.
  2. Song Styles: Anna the Nurse. Brad (upbeat jolly love song).
  3. Secret: Two frisky geriatrics in an old people's home - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in the commode.
  4. Addicts Anonymous: Addicted to game shows. Brad runs, Colin, Ryan & Steve attend.
  5. Sports Commentators: two hunks on the beach setting up their stuff, getting ready for a day sunbathing. Steve & Brad commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
  6. Film Dub: Going on an expedition - Steve & Ryan.
  7. Animals: Ryan & Colin gazelles with illegal substances, scared that the lion cop (Brad) is about to bust them.
  8. Weird Newscasters: Brad - anchor "Peter Sprinkle". Colin (co-anchor "Dexter") - having a breakdown because he used to be the sole presenter of the programme, Ryan (weatherman "Simon") - being distracted by a couple making love in front of him, Steve (sports presenter "Chuck") - a rowdy football fan.
Winners: Colin Mochrie & Ryan Stiles
Credits: As Michael Jackson and Bubbles sending personalised messages to their fans.


9.07

First Broadcast: August 21, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, George Wendt, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan a scientist who's called his friend (George) around to help test his time machine. Oprah Winfrey, Sesame Street, Dubbed Martial Arts, Horror.
  2. Superheroes: Shortage of jelly babies. Greg - Super Teddy Bear, Ryan - Mr Smooth, Colin - The Disco Kid, George - Talks Too Loud About His Personal Problems Man.
  3. Secret: Pinocchio - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in the left nostril.
  4. Film Dub: A dangerous mission - Colin, Ryan & Greg.
  5. World's Worst: Person to share a flat/apartment with.
  6. Props: Colin & Ryan - giant blue 'dog bowl', Greg & George - giant yellow bananas.
  7. Three Of A Kind: In a laundrette - Greg, Ryan & Colin. All TV Evangelists.
  8. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. George - 'Gone With The Wind' in 30 seconds, Colin - testing out rodeo horses of various sizes, Ryan - a fly caught between two windows.
  9. Hoedown: Space Travel.
Winner: George Wendt
Credits: As someone who's a big fan of the show and wants to watch it all the way to the end, with the others as flatmates trying to persuade him to do other things more and more interesting than that.


9.08

First Broadcast: August 28, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Debi Durst, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: Scenes from Star Wars.
  2. Superheroes: Shortage of mascara. Greg - Wonder Woman, Ryan - Bad John Wayne Impression Boy, Colin - Pants Around The Ankles Boy, Debi - Nagging Jewish Mother Woman.
  3. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Debi - Popeye, Colin - knows Greg's dirty secrets, Ryan - undergoing dental treatment.
  4. Animals: Ryan a businessman taking a prospective business partner (Greg), both cockerels, to a go-go bar where they find Ryan's wife (Colin), a hen, who is about to perform on stage.
  5. World's Worst: Television programme.
  6. Props: Colin & Ryan - yellow 'shields', Greg & Debi - furry tube.
  7. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Snide Anderson". Ryan (co-anchor "Captain Billy") - a crazy old man, Debi (sports presenter) - getting repeatedly massive electric shocks, Colin (weatherman) - desperate to catch a plane.
  8. Moving People: Colin a girl checking into the Bates motel from Psycho, Ryan the motel owner.
  9. Hoedown: Cricket.
Winners: Everybody.
Credits: As bolshe(?) old people watching television.


9.09

First Broadcast: September 4, 1997 - Intro
Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: On Noah's Ark.
  2. Film and Theatre Styles: Colin a policeman, come to investigate reports of a strange disturbance on Ryan's chicken farm. Star Trek, Riverdance, Jurassic Park.
  3. Old Job, New Job: Brad introducing a fiancee (Ryan) to the father (Steve) who used to be a dog show judge.
  4. Home Shopping: Waders with holes, chewing gum chewed by someone else already, solar powered torch - Ryan & Colin sell.
  5. Quick Change: Colin telling a general (Brad) that they're under attack. Steve calls change.
  6. Party Quirks: Brad hosts. Steve - strict German nanny, Colin - physically in love with food, Ryan - film extra in a bar room brawl.
  7. Mission: Impossible: Mowing the lawn (and getting it generally cut, tidied, etc.). Steve briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
  8. Greatest Hits: Songs of the Farmyard (Barnyard) - Ryan & Colin introduce, Brad sings.
Winners: Ryan Stiles & Steve Frost.
Credits: As two construction workers on a scaffolding.


9.10

First Broadcast: September 11, 1997 - Intro
Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: On a stag night.
  2. Sound Effects: On a submarine about to submerge. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  3. Let's Make A Date: Brad questions. Steve - characters of 'Eastenders', Colin - Brad's annoyed flatmate, Ryan - a prisoner going stir crazy.
  4. Remember That Song: Colin barman, Brad & Ryan people coming to the bar.
  5. Press Conference: Steve as Snow White announcing she's pregnant. Brad, Colin & Ryan interview.
  6. Narrate: Meeting on a sleeper train - Ryan & Colin.
  7. Party Quirks: Steve hosts. Brad - Huggy Bear from "Starsky & Hutch", Colin - working on the underside of a plane when it takes off, Ryan - frog who turns into a prince and back again.
  8. Hoedown: Worst Nightmares.
Winner: Steve Frost
Credits: As the first man to Mars, and filing a report from that planet saying there's nothing there, not realising that the other three are aliens behind him making funny gestures to the camera.


9.11 (Compilation)

First Broadcast: September 18, 1997 - Intro
Rory Bremner, Steve Frost, Stephen Fry, Josie Lawrence, Mike McShane, Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: In the Olympic village - Greg, Rory, Colin & Ryan.
  2. Film and Theatre Styles: Gorillas in the Mist - Ryan is a zoologist who's been living with gorillas for about 20 years, and Colin has arrived to tell him it's time to come home. Pirate Movie, Muppets, Western.
  3. Let's Make A Date: Brad questions. Mike - dog making a dirty phone call, Colin - increasingly annoyed by Brad's stupidity, Ryan - channeling the spirits of Brad's dead relatives.
  4. Song Titles: At the racetrack - Steve, Colin, Brad & Ryan.
  5. Song Styles: Andy the account manager. Josie (big musical love song).
  6. Sports Commentators: two guys at adjoining desks in an office. Greg & Rory (Murray Walker) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
  7. Daytime Talk Show: Josie hosts, Stephen, Colin & Ryan discuss washing up.
  8. Director: Greg & Ryan Alien, one of the members of the space ship isn't feeling too well. Colin directs. Constant double takes, upbeat musical, German strippers with a shoulder disability.
  9. Song Styles: Pauline the car saleswoman. Brad (Britpop).


9.12 (Compilation)

First Broadcast: September 25, 1997 - Intro
Steve Frost, Stephen Fry, Josie Lawrence, Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles, George Wendt
  1. Film and Theatre Styles: Two glassblowers starting to get on each others' nerves - Ryan & Colin. Western, Lassie, Top Gun, My Little Pony.
  2. Quick Change: Brad briefing Steve, a spy, about a dangerous mission. Ryan calls change.
  3. Sound Effects: In a plane, waiting to parachute behind enemy lines. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  4. Animals: Ryan & Greg two pigs on their wedding night, when Colin, Ryan's ex-wife who he thought had been slaughtered, suddenly reappears.
  5. Song Styles: Brendan (Gibbs) the policeman. Josie (Sondheim love song).
  6. Backwards Scene: Two people (Ryan & Colin) are dead at the end of a saloon bar showdown (with Brad).
  7. Home Shopping: Keys that definitely don't fit any lock, a piece/handfull of fluff, old asparagus - Ryan & Colin sell.
  8. Three Of A Kind: Doing the housework - Greg, Ryan & Colin. All Ice Hockey players.
  9. Party Quirks: Stephen hosts. Josie - The Queen getting involved in a pub fight, Colin - being chased on roof of speeding train, Ryan - Flipper trying to warn Stephen about various disasters.
  10. Moving People: Captain Ahab and his first mate searching for Moby Dick - Ryan & Colin.
  11. Hoedown: Space Travel.


9.13

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Film and Theatre Styles: Two men in a weather research station in the Antarctic, and one of them notices the other has started acting oddly - Ryan & Colin. Star Wars, Roman Epic, Muppets, Reservoir Dogs, World War II Weepy, Dirty Harry.
  2. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Steve - Scottish clan leader, Colin - has a death-wish, Ryan - desperately trying to get aroused.
  3. Hey You Down There: Learning to scuba dive. Greg narrates, Colin & Ryan act.
  4. Hats: World's Worst Dating Agency Video.
  5. Number Of Words: Rumblings of mutiny on the Bounty. Ryan - Fletcher Christian (2 words), Colin - ship's cook (4 words), Steve - Captain Bligh (3 words), Greg - Polynesian Maiden (1 word).
  6. Newsflash: Two horny rhinoceri. Greg & Colin anchor, Ryan reports.
  7. Addicts Anonymous: Addicted to wrestling. Greg runs, Colin, Ryan & Steve attend.
  8. Hoedown: Golf.
Winner: Greg Proops
Credits: Having a nightmare, with the other three as the ghosts of his past appearing behind him as he's having it.


9.14

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Karen Maruyama, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Questions Only: Two couples who've been on a holiday and an affair has been going on.
  2. Sound Effects: A fireman who gets a call-out. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  3. Film and Theatre Styles: Greg firing Karen from her job as a Red Riding Hood at the Fairy Tale Theme Park. Star Trek, Beavis & Butthead, Tennessee Williams.
  4. Sports Commentators: rival hot dog salesmen. Greg (Scawwy Hawwy) & Karen (Hardly There) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
  5. Props: Colin & Ryan - pink circle with a slit, Greg & Karen - giant metal spheres.
  6. Home Shopping: an umbrella handle, somebody else's photos, cold onion gravy - Ryan & Colin sell.
  7. Soap Opera: In a public toilets.
  8. News Report: The extinction of dinosaurs. Greg - host Rock Hard, Colin - expert Peggy Lee, Karen - interviewer Sandy Bling, Ryan - Cro-Magnon Man and Clive Anderson's great great great great great great great great grandfather.
Winner: Karen Maruyama
Credits: As the Simpsons (with the help of the others).


9.15

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Stephen Frost, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles
  1. Superheroes: Women & Wives causing trouble the world over. Colin - Constipation Man, Ryan - Embarrassed About Your Erection Boy, Brad - Captain Menu, Steve - Captain Crotch Grabber.
  2. Let's Make A Date: Brad questions. Steve - a leprechaun, Colin - becoming increasingly ill, Ryan - hates people not finding him hilarious.
  3. Secret: The Lone Ranger and Tonto - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in a gun holster.
  4. Foreign Film Dub: "The Return of the Killer Tomatoes" in Polish. Brad & Colin act, Steve & Ryan translate.
  5. Props: Ryan & Brad - plastic half-spheres, Steve & Colin - tied up foam rope.
  6. Song Styles: Angela from the video shop. Brad (musical-end love song).
  7. Film Dub: At the barber's - Steve, Colin & Ryan.
  8. Sports Commentators: competing barbers sharing the same equipment. Brad (Pink Hardwood) & Steve (Timmy Shagpile) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
  9. Hoedown: Barristers.
Winners: Ryan Stiles & Steve Frost
Credits: As two construction workers on a scaffolding.


9.16

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, George Wendt, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Film and Theatre Styles: Colin has a pet gremlin called Greg, but he forgot to heed the warning to keep him away from water. Braveheart, Australian Soap Opera, Woody Allen.
  2. Old Job, New Job: George taking his wife, Greg out to a restaurant, Ryan the waiter who used to be a drugs squad officer/cop.
  3. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. George - builder on a construction site, Colin - trying to impress Greg with his seductive accents, Ryan - suffers from tremendous mood swings.
  4. Foreign Film Dub: "The Return of the Chicken" in Turkish. Colin & George act, Ryan & Greg translate.
  5. Press Conference: Colin claims that President Clinton exposed himself to him. Greg, George & Ryan interview.
  6. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Terrifying Under The Sheets". Ryan (co-anchor "Rand McNally") - constantly moaning about his personal problems, George (sports presenter) - gets bizarrely/obsessively turned on by sport, Steve (weatherman) - always wanted to be a chorus line choreographer.
  7. Mission: Impossible: Taking the car to the car wash. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
Winners: Everybody
Credits: As a complete family on a holiday sending back video messages to home.


9.17

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Rory Bremner, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
  1. Film and Theatre Styles: Two scientists about to shrink themselves down to go into somebody's body - Greg & Ryan. Woody Allen, Sex Education Video, Kibuki, Riverdance, Horror.
  2. Press Conference: Colin claims to have slept with every member of (the) royal family. Greg, Rory & Ryan interview.
  3. Sound Effects: A New York cop who's on patrol in his car, and he gets called out to a drugs bust. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  4. Film Review: Barry Norman (Rory) reviews "Attack of the Giant Bananas", Greg, Colin & Ryan perform.
  5. Secret: Esmerelda and the Hunchback of Notre Dame - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in the bell.
  6. Picture: Everybody in a Tarzan scene.
  7. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. Rory - John Motson on the pull, Colin - trapped outside a submarine as it starts to submerge, Ryan - trying to smuggle animals through customs in his underpants.
  8. Hoedown: Winning the lottery.
Winners: Everybody
Credits: As themselves at the after show party, Rory as Clive Anderson.


9.18

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Greg Proops, Josie Lawrence, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles
NB: Episode skipped in Australia so details are not as accurate as usual.
  1. Let's Make A Date: Josie questions. Greg - from A Streetcar Named Desire, Colin - has an acute sense of smell, Ryan - a horny Frankenstein.
  2. Sound Effects: Preparing for a joust. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
  3. Hoedown: Foreign Travel.
  4. Hats: World's Worst Ad Campaign.
  5. Mission: Impossible: Buying a pair of shoes. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
  6. Greatest Hits: Songs of the Hospital - Ryan & Colin introduce, Josie sings.
Winners: Josie Lawrence & Greg Proops
Credits: As two people at a wine tasting, the others also attending.


9.19

First Broadcast: Date Unknown, 1997 - Intro
Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles
NB: Episode skipped in Australia so details are not as accurate as usual.
  1. Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan has flown from another galaxy to tell Colin he is the only one that can save the planet. Playboy Channel, Religious Epic, Kung Fu, Speed, Playboy Channel.
  2. Interrogation: Ryan has mooned the Queen. Steve & Brad interrogate.
  3. Stand, Sit, Bend: Three 1940s gangsters blowing a safe, with the cops closing in - Brad, Colin & Ryan.
  4. World's Worst: self improvement/teach yourself video.
  5. Props: Ryan & Brad - long orange balloons, Steve & Colin - red circles with a hole in the middle.
  6. Number Of Words: Brad - the madam of a brothel in the deep south (5 words). Colin - one of the girls (2 words), Steve - a customer who's also the mayor (4 words), Ryan - a policeman raiding the joint (3 words).
  7. Foreign Film Dub: "The Return of the Bald Weasels" in Romanian. Colin & Brad act, Steve & Ryan translate.
  8. Greatest Hits: Hits of the Locker Room - Ryan & Colin introduce, Brad sings.
Winners: Brad Sherwood & Colin Mochrie
Credits: As two plastic surgeons.