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Mark's Guide to Whose Line is it Anyway?

1999 Twiglets Transcript

Awards Ceremony Transcript

On Friday 8th January 2000, the 1999 Twiglets Awards were presented in an IRC ceremony. Traditionally, they overran considerably and were upset by an ungrateful John Sessions. Well, okay, they were actually just some good fun :) Congratulations to all the winners, and now watch as we relive the drunken speeches, backstage bitching, drooling over Ms Lopez, twiglet fights, technical difficulties and misbehaviour of the evening!

Pre-Show Party / Red Carpet / THE AWARDS

Worst Individual Game / Worst Song / Worst Game / Worst Contestant
Worst Costume / Best Costume / Worst Superhero / Best Superhero
Worst Party Quirk / Best Party Quirk / Most Improved / Best Smile
Worst Credits / Best Credits / Best Beard / Best Hair / Best Prop Use
Best Put Down / Best Whose Line Line / Funniest Line / Funniest Moment
Best Individual Game / Best Song / Best Game / BEST CONTESTANT

NB: The parts of everyone were played by the Whosers. I can't say who was who (even I only know a few - maybe even someone was real! :-)) but personally I can and will only take responsibility for Clive & Dan :)

The cast present in order of arrival were: Clive Anderson (Clive), Dan Patterson (Dan_P), Tony Slattery (Kat^Tony), Kathy Kinney (Kat^Tony/Steen^Kat/KathyKinn), Rory Bremner (Bremner/BreMerton), Stephen Fry (SFry), Denny Siegel (D_Siegel), Steve Steen (SSteen/Steen^Kat), Drew Carey (DrewCarey), Paul Merton (PMerton/BreMerton), Colin Mochrie (Mochrie), Chip Esten (Chip), Greg Proops (GregP), Josie Lawrence (Josie), Ryan Stiles (Ryan/RyanStile/RStiles/Dani^Ryan), Niall Ashdown (Niall/NiallAsh), Laura Hall (LHall/LaurHall/LHall_RVr), Steve Frost (SteveFro), Karen Maruyama (Karen), Caroline Quentin (Caroline), Enn Reitel (EnnReitel), John Sessions (JohnS/John/JohnSess), Linda Taylor (LTaylor), Richard Vranch (LHall_RVr), Wayne Brady (WayneB), Jim Meskimen (Meskimen), George Wendt (Gwendt), Jonathan Pryce (JonPryce), and Mike McShane (McShane)

Also present were special guests the Barenaked Ladies (Bnkdladie), Sarah Michelle Gellar (SM_Gellar), Jennifer Lopez (J_Lopez), and in the audience, Claudia, Sue, Natalie & Steph, ssb, Dani and Snarky.


* Clive & Dan_P arrive.
* Kat^Tony & Bremner enter.
Bremner: hallo!
Clive: hi
Kat^Tony: Hey!
* SFry arrives
* SFry is nervous
* Dan_P starts directing
* D_Siegel & SSteen enter
D_Siegel: hello people!
Clive: hi!
Kat^Tony: Hi
* DrewCarey walks in
DrewCarey: hey!
Kat^Tony: Yo Steve, where's Jim?
SSteen: He's in England
Kat^Tony: Oh
Kat^Tony: I miss him :o)
SSteen: He says hi
* PMerton, Mochrie & Bnkdladie come in
DrewCarey: Hey, all right, the entertainment is here :-)
Bnkdladie: Don't ask me to sing One Week!
DrewCarey: Okay... can you sing "It's all been Done"?
* Chip enters
Bnkdladie: Like duh yea!
D_Siegel: the ultimate challenge: Can you sing a hoedown? =)
Clive: "It's all been done... it's all been done... it's all been dddooooooooone before.."
DrewCarey: Hmmm... now where's my buddy Ryan?
Bnkdladie: Who's this? He's gonna be my best friend :)
DrewCarey: NO, NOT CLIVE!!!
* DrewCarey faints from listening to Clive sing
Kat^Tony: Clive is so cute when he sings :o)
Clive: hey, haven't you heard the rap?
Bnkdladie: Hey! I'm the Barenaked one here!
* BreMerton brings Twiglets to the party
* SSteen goes up and buffs Clive's head
Bnkdladie: Yum!
* DrewCarey is revived... only to faint again after getting the glare off Clive's newly-buffed head
Kat^Tony: Mmmmm Twiglets!
* GregP enters
D_Siegel: if you're bringing twiglets, I need a stiff drink!
* Kat^Tony thinks Tony may get a deal to be on the show tonight! :op
* Bnkdladie tunes her guitar
* SSteen is anxious
* DrewCarey checks the light-blue cards at his desk
* DrewCarey reads fine print
* Josie enters
SSteen: Now let us behave tonight. I don't want a scene like last year with John
Kat^Tony: I think John can be nice......maybe :o)
DrewCarey: At least you now know why I don't have John on MY show :-)
SSteen: Let's hope so
BreMerton: We'll have to buzz John off the podium if he gets too long-winded
* DrewCarey prepares buzzer
* DrewCarey checks trap door
SSteen: Drew, it's Clive's show you know for tonight :)
Bnkdladie: When do I start singing? ;)
* Niall enters
Mochrie: I've been looking forward to this all year! :)
D_Siegel: me too!
* Mochrie dons his Lime Green jacket and Woody Woodpecker tie
DrewCarey: I want Chip to sing to Colin in the style of The Supremes
DrewCarey: please?
Chip: I request a duet with Niall
* DrewCarey buzzes Chip
* Kat^Tony: Kat: is in a Tommy Hilfiger silver jesery dress, Tony: In his famous Doc Holiday suit
DrewCarey: No duets!
* BreMerton wears his loud patterned shirt and khakis
* D_Siegel is wearing a very fashionable taylor made dazzling sparkly blue/purple dress
* DrewCarey wears "casual" (TV-watching style, if you remember the hodown...)
* Claudia sits down and fluffs up her dress
* LHall & SteveFro enter
SteveFro: Hey
* Mochrie gives the room a big hug....and the people in it, of course ;-)
DrewCarey: All right Clive, I'd like you to read the credits as Tony Slattery
DrewCarey: I've got to throw these cards away...
* Karen & Caroline enter
Chip: TONY! love the jacket!
* LHall plays mood music
* EnnReitel arrives
GregP: Hey, Enn.
BreMerton: WE all forgot about you!
EnnReitel: Evening!
Chip: do not bring Lionel Blair
Kat^Tony: Josie! Do you still love me? :op
BreMerton: "I hate this jacket 'cos it's made from bits of Lionel Blair."
* Josie gives kat^tony a hug :)
* Kat^Tony returns the hug!
* JohnS enters
SSteen: He's here
DrewCarey: oh great
* SteveFro is feeling sarcastic
* BreMerton buzzes John out before he even starts talking
* LTaylor arrives
LTaylor: Me and Laura will play the recipients off the stage ;o)
Bnkdladie: Hey, can I jam with you guys too? :)
LTaylor: Woo! *L*
* SM_Gellar enters
RyanStile: I think my putdown was doing really well, but I'm not sure.
Bnkdladie: oooh, Buffy's here!
RyanStile: um..I don't watch the oscars :-)
DrewCarey: Hehe, the secret is that I write ALL the WL lines!
SM_Gellar: Yes, and you better watch out!
Kat^Tony: Hey, Buffy! :op
DrewCarey: ...but no one's supposed to know, so keep it quiet :-)
GregP: *gasp* you don't? Um, the emmys? Tonys? Grammys?
SteveFro: got your intro worked out clive? :)
* SteveFro still has a great agent :)
RyanStile: Wow, Buffy....can I have your autograph?
Clive: Wow, celebrity guests! :)
* Bnkdladie watchs out
BreMerton: wow, even Buffy likes WL!!!
* LTaylor watches the Oscars for the clothing ;o)
RyanStile: Nope, nope, nope....
GregP: any awards shows?
RyanStile: Um...No?
SM_Gellar: Well, I guess.... your name is Ryan right? (j/k))
LTaylor: Buffy!! ;o)
RyanStile: Who me? No, I'm Phil.
* LaurHall plays in the background
SM_Gellar: Do you like my dress? I tend to come in strapless dresses....
BreMerton: and this is your mate, Gary, right?
RyanStile: Yup, how'd you know?
* Kat^Tony takes their seats next to John, even though it's a scarey place to be :op
LaurHall: Care to join me, guys?
Mochrie: (as gary) Here I am !
Steen^Kat: Hey, Drew Bite Me :P
* DrewCarey buzzes Steen
JohnSess: Excuse me.....I'm here.......everyone pay attention to the GREAT John Sessions!!
* DrewCarey keeps buzzing Steve Steen
Kat^Tony: I said Hi John! But you scare me
JohnSess: Tony?.....Tony who?
* BreMerton IGNORES John Sessions
* LTaylor prances around in her dress but trips on her stilettos
* DrewCarey helps LTaylor to her feet
* Steen^Kat accidentally smacks John Sessions with a cream pie
DrewCarey: here you are miss... Hello
Kat^Tony: John?!? I thought he like disappeared or at least went to Jail or something :op
LTaylor: Thanks! ;o)
* LHall_RVr (Richard Vranch) arrives
Kat^Tony (Tony): No dear, he's around... He's always around
Mochrie: if only ;-)
SM_Gellar: Hey! The barenaked ladies are here! I love you guys!
BreMerton: hey Clive! Is that your head or is your neck blowing bubblegum?
DrewCarey: "blowing bubblegum"?
* WayneB enters, completing the expected cast list.

(Clive gives the presenters a final briefing. The celebrities then divide up into their separate vehicles which drive them up to the end of the red carpet outside the theatre).


* LHall_RVr plays intro
* LTaylor starts to play

Dan_P: And here we are at the 2nd annual Twiglets Awards. And as we see the contestants start to arrive on the red carpet.

* LTaylor puts down her sax and starts to clap
* LHall_RVr claps and grins

Dan_P: Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie, dressed for success in various shirts, ties, and other items nominated in the costume categories.
GregP: nice outfits, Colin, Ryan ... the layered look?

* Mochrie straightens his lime green jacket, and checks his Woody Woodpecker tie.
* DrewCarey shows off his "casual" attire
* D_Siegel sits down at the table with Colin and Ryan

Dan_P: And Brad and Wayne step out of the limo... and straight over to the crowd where they start entertaining the ladies.

* WayneB sits down at table glad to have made it in time
* D_Siegel helps Colin adjust his tie

Dan_P: Clive Anderson, who'll be hosting for the evening, and Drew Carey, both racing towards the podium.

* SteveFro cheers clive and heckles drew
* BreMerton smiles, showing his four teeth
* LTaylor suddenly realises she doesn't play the sax...throws it out the window and grabs a guitar
* GregP heckles Clive AND Drew
* JohnSess wonders why no one's sitting with him
* Josie sits with John, but only out of pity

Dan_P: And somebody in the crowd's given Brad & Wayne a present... is that a small Tigger I see? And a stuffed monkey? And some of our older contestants there... vainly shouting out that they used to be quite famous... Enn Reitel is one... I think...

* GregP takes a seat, straightening his tie
* DrewCarey, who can understand being alone, sits on the other side of John
* LHall_RVr is glad for the guitar harmonies
* Steen^Kat shouts "Hooray!"
* EnnReitel shouts "Nobody remembers me"
* BreMerton has moved on to bigger and better things... WATCH HIGNFY!
* Kat^Tony smacks John, as they are sitting with him. 'Man, he's got a big ego'
* JohnSess shoos the 'old bag' away
* Josie feels relieved and leaves John's side

Dan_P: And we have a few non-WL celebrities arriving too. The Barenaked Ladies, who'll be presenting an award later in the evening, and playing at the aftershow party.

* Bnkdladie streaks the stage
* Kat^Tony claps and cheers for the streaker!
* SteveFro joins in by showing his bum
* Bnkdladie starts playing "If I had a million twiglets"
* JohnSess looks in the mirror AGAIN
* GregP offers Josie the seat by him
* DrewCarey comforts John with a hug
SteveFro: first time a woman has been relieved after sitting with john....
* Bnkdladie bows
* BreMerton gives dirty looks to John.. hmph, since when did YOU get friends?
* JohnSess turns up nose at 'foul smelling' Yankee
* Josie sits on greg's lap

Dan_P: And Sarah Michelle Gellar, freshly back from NYE in Sydney, Australia. And hoping to slay 'em all with witty jokes later on tonight.

SM_Gellar: Thanks :)
* Mochrie winks at Caroline
* BreMerton waits for the teenage-boy audience to start panting
* SteveFro shows his arse AGAIN

Dan_P: And so, as the contestants find their seats, I'd like a big rousing welcome for tonight's presenter, Clive Anderson!

* RyanStile checks award-winning Neon Love Chicken shirt.
GregP: so, what do you want for Christmas, Josie:?

* Caroline sits down by colin, far away from paul merton...
* SteveFro sits next to caroline and shows her his sausage
* LTaylor straightens out her dress and walks over to Laura
* LHall_RVr takes a seat next to LTaylor

(a hush falls over the theatre as the lights dim. Then, grandiose music begins as we start...)


* Clive walks out onto the stage

* Mochrie applauds vociferously
* EnnReitel applauds
Kat^Tony: 'WooHoo Go Clive!!'

Clive: Right, well, yes...

* WayneB claps
* LHall_RVr and the music swells!
* DrewCarey throws a paper airplane in Clive's direction
* D_Siegel claps

Clive: Hello and welcome to Whose Twiglet is it Anyway?, the awards ceremony in which the points DO matter.

DrewCarey: You stink! I'm the host! ...I mean... (meekly) Go, Clive
GregP: they matter? is that allowed?

Clive: Yes, we're going to recognise the awards of our best and worst by giving away Twiglets to them. And let's face it, giving them away IS the only way to get rid of twiglets.

* BreMerton heckles Clive, 'OI, I LIKE TWIGLETS!
* SteveFro is annoyed as someone tries to water his shirt
JohnSess: HEY!! I like them!
DrewCarey: Hey, I could eat them all for you
* Josie likes twiglets
BreMerton: oh, shut up John
Mochrie: Drew! I never knew you ate twiglets ;-)
* LTaylor likes Twiglets too. Good guitar picks
JohnSess: Who said that!??!
BreMerton: I did
RyanStile: Aren't Twiglets supposed to be slimming?
* DrewCarey winks at Colin... "You know it's true, buddy"
BreMerton: you pompous git
JohnSess: Wanker
Mochrie: They sure are! ;-) Eat one, and you'll never want to eat anything again ;-)
RyanStile: Proof Drew doesn't eat them.
DrewCarey: I do too eat them! They just don't work for me!

Clive: But we'd better get straight on in, and so to present the first award, here's your favourite and ... erm... yours, Greg Proops!

* WayneB claps for greg
* Kat^Tony 'WOO!!'

GregP: Thank you, Clive. Straighten up, I still can't see your neck.

WayneB: what neck?
* DrewCarey consoles Clive
* Meskimen sneaks in late
Mochrie: Ah! Jim, nice of you to turn up....fashionably late :)

GregP: Now, ladies and gentlemen, you can't have the best without having the worst. So it is my pleasure to present: The Cutting Room Floor Twiglet for Worst Individual Game And the nominees are:

Ryan Stiles & Drew Carey for 'Alphabet: In a restaurant, complaining to a temperamental waiter'

John Sessions, Jan Ravens, George McGrath & Graeme Garden for 'American Musical: Puberty, Cup of Tea and TV Show recording'

Greg Proops & Ardal O'Hanlon for 'Film & Theatre Styles: A Fireman and Corporate Boss' ... hey!

Jimmy Mulville & Jon Glover for 'Film Dub: Robots'

Ryan Stiles & Colin Mochrie for 'Moving People: Captain Ahab searching for Moby Dick'
* Mochrie glares at Greg

Drew Carey for 'News Flash: King Kong'
DrewCarey: !!!
* SteveFro cheers again
* RyanStile applauds
* DrewCarey glares at Steve for cheering

Peter Cook, Stephen Fry, Josie Lawrence & John Sessions for 'Panel: Smoking'

George McGrath, Jan Ravens, Graeme Garden & John Sessions for 'Story: A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss'
JohnSess: Three for me!! I can't lose!!
Kat^Tony: John, you always lose
LTaylor:You're still a loser for this one...even if you win ;o)
* DrewCarey is glad he moved away from John... and wonders if John's face is sore

GregP: and the winner ... and this is a big honor ... is: Ryan Stiles & Drew Carey for 'Alphabet: In a restaurant, complaining to a temperamental waiter'

DrewCarey: what the...
RyanStile: Hey....

* D_Siegel claps
LHall_RVr: Oh, sorry
Kat^Tony: YAY!!! *Claps and whistles*
* LTaylor plays as the recipients move onstage
JohnSess: WHAT!!! But ....But......
* LHall_RVr plays along
SteveFro: well done chaps. thoroughly deserved i'm sure
* Mochrie applauds cheerfully.
* SteveFro is glad his press conferences and party hosting weren't nominated

* DrewCarey jumps up and grabs Ryan
DrewCarey: Come on...
* DrewCarey drags Ryan onto the stage
* RyanStile runs up with Drew
* GregP hands Drew and Ryan each a statuette of a giant gold Twiglet
RyanStile: Wow...

WayneB: don't eat them
* Bnkdladie claps
* EnnReitel applauds
* BreMerton claps
* LTaylor claps
* Steen^Kat whistles
WayneB: had to get dental wok done after last year
Mochrie: I hope they improved the recipe from last year. :) My teeth were sore for a week!

DrewCarey: All right...  I'd like to thank you guys... and remember... Screw you, little people!
DrewCarey: Wait, I can't eat this?

WayneB: no
ssb: Hey! Little people rock!
Steen^Kat: As Kathy Kinny: "Hey, Drew, you pig" :P

RyanStile: Um, I'd like to thank everyone I know...
DrewCarey: What a piece of junk
RyanStile: Sue....Bill...Tom the weatherman...
* LHall_RVr pounds out the end-of-speech music
* DrewCarey resumes his seat and leaves Ryan hanging
RyanStile Mary...John....Matt...
* DrewCarey calls Ryan on his cell phone
RyanStile: Jenna...Phil...Gary...
DrewCarey: Psst... Ryan...
RyanStile: My aunt Ellen...
DrewCarey: SIT DOWN!!!
* LHall_RVr plays the end-of-speech music LOUDER
RyanStile: Oops!

Mochrie: Hey Ry! What about your ex wife Cheryl?
* LTaylor plays along

* DrewCarey runs back up onto the stage and grabs Ryan
* RyanStile runs back down
* RyanStile dodges Drew
DrewCarey: Wow, you run fast
RyanStile: Advantage of being skinny.

GregP: Now, for the best of the worst, ladies and gentlemen: The '1999' Twiglet for Worst Song.

ssb: Not one by Brad! ;)
* SteveFro is sure he's up for this :)
* J_Lopez sneaks in at the back

GregP: 1999 was the year WL songs regained popularity, but that didn't stop a few from stinking anyway. The nominees are:

Wayne Brady & Brad Sherwood for "Charity Anthem: Pizza Deliverers"

ssb: NOOOO! ;)
WayneB: hey!

Chris Smith, Sandi Toksvig, Jim Meskimen & Mike McShane for "Gospel: Bus Driving"

Julian Clary for "Gospel: Sewing/Needlepointing"

SteveFro: jim's verse was okay!
BreMerton: aww, but I like that song!

Brad Sherwood & Mike McShane for "Greatest Hits of the DIY: What The Hell's With These Instructions"

* DrewCarey applauds graciously
ssb: Why is Brad up AGAIN??? Hey...

George Wendt for "Hoedown: Space Travel"

Mochrie: Hey Jim! What happened to Christopher? I hear he was unable to attend!
* LTaylor claps for the losers

Greg Proops, Paul Merton, Ryan Stiles & Josie Lawrence for "March: Childbirth"

Josie Lawrence for "Song Styles: On The M25"

RyanStile: Hey, that wasn't so bad...
* SteveFro remains silent as he looks jennifer up and down and up and down and up and down.......
ssb: All marches I nominate!:P

Josie Lawrence for "Song Styles: Strimmer"

Kat^Tony: Go Josie!!!
* DrewCarey wonders why Brad hasn't even shown up and he's still getting these nominations
Mochrie: Oh, Josie, I happen to love your Strimmer song. :)
ssb: Brad just sent his minions! ;)
ssb: Brad is in Vegas! ;)
BreMerton: no brad? hey, he thinks he's too good for us!
* LTaylor applauds
* Josie is sure to be a winner!

GregP: The winner ... no surprise ... George Wendt for "Hoedown: Space Travel"

* Gwendt rushes in from the entrance
* LHall_RVr plays loud celebratory music
* Gwendt goes to stage

ssb: Thank God Brad lost!!!!!!
Mochrie: Hey! George! Glad you could make it!
ssb: Cheers! :)
ssb: Get it? :)
SteveFro: Pass the beer nuts, George!

* GregP hands George the award with a mug of beer
Gwendt: well i'll make this short, john sessions deserves this award
* Gwendt drinks the beer and leaves

JohnSess: Finally....SOME recognition
ssb: Bye, George! :)
* GregP sits back down
* LTaylor starts to play
* LHall_RVr is still playing

* Clive returns

* DrewCarey motions for Linda Taylor to put down the saxophone
LTaylor: Or guitar ;o)
* LTaylor puts down her instrument...whatever it may be
* LHall_RVr lifts their hands off the keyboards
Mochrie: What happened to Anna? Did she have another engagement? ;-)
Mochrie: I guess she nipped off to get a little sax!

Clive: Well, Greg is an old (cough) friend... but now it's time to bring in one of our newer recruits, the very lovely Denny Siegel.
D_Siegel: Thank you much! Now is The Fast Forward Twiglet for Worst Game, which *needs* a Twiglet!

* SteveFro makes unfunny seagull noises as a greeting
SM_Gellar: *claps politely*
* Mochrie claps politely
* LTaylor claps
DrewCarey: oh, that's not good... a name pun
* Caroline claps unpolitely :)
* SteveFro cries as his points are docked
* D_Siegel shows a bit of shoulder to get more response
* Mochrie whoops
* Mochrie looks shocked at himself
* Josie pays more attention to dsiegel's shoulder
* DrewCarey calls dibs on collecting the award, since he's the host
* WayneB looks shocked at mochrie
* RyanStile zones out on powdered twiglet
Mochrie: I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me :)
* LHall_RVr hikes up Laura's skirt and tightens Richard's trousers
ssb: Getting racy in here... ;)
SteveFro: any dripping denny?
Mochrie: Hey! This is a family presentation!
SM_Gellar: *can't really loose any more dress*
* Kat^Tony Tony just wants to get naked :op
BreMerton: It's being shown to Americans!
* SteveFro drinks all the champagne and has a glass of milk
ssb: So bleep out everything!
Bnkdladie: Does that mean our streaking got out?
BreMerton: ABC had to dump it :-)\
SteveFro: channel 4 would have given close-ups

D_Siegel: the nominees are: American Musical, Couples, Moving People, Panel, Rap, and Song Titles
D_Siegel: and sadly, or happily even, the winner is: Moving People!

ssb: I love Moving People!!!
BreMerton: Woohoo! I never played that!
RyanStile: Yay! Down with Moving People!
WayneB: i think it should go to colin and ryan
RyanStile: I am not a 6 foot Barbie!
JohnSess: ANY game that I've never played is NEVER good!!
Bnkdladie: No, you're a six foot Ken!
SM_Gellar: I'm the barbie doll!

* DrewCarey jumps up on the stage and grabs the award
DrewCarey: Thank you everyone
* D_Siegel pushes drew off the stage
* DrewCarey resumes his seat quickly
* Mochrie grabs Ryan and head towards the stage.
* RyanStile throws Twiglet at Drew's head
* LTaylor starts to play immediately
* DrewCarey catches Twiglet and adds it to his collection
BreMerton: (BUZZ)
RyanStile: We get it? Yes we do!
DrewCarey: Woo hoo, that's THREE!
* Mochrie dejectedly returns to his seat.

D_Siegel: and now The Vacant Chair Award for Worst Contestant, which unfortunately can't be John, because he won last year

* LTaylor plays quietly in the background
* DrewCarey shows off his THREE Twiglets
* Josie thinks John could win again......
SteveFro: see a doctor drew if you have three
JohnSess: But...I have to win an award!!
DrewCarey: They're... all... mine...
* BreMerton thinks John should be the only nominee in this category
GregP: Hey Drew, peel off the outer gold there, it's chocolate inside
Josie: will somebody please knock Drew out!
* RyanStile shoots a ki-powered nuclear flavored twiglet in Drew's direction
* DrewCarey tries to peel the gold off, but his fingers are too stubby
* LTaylor knocks the back of Drew's head with her guitar
SM_Gellar: why don't we call it the John Session award?
* DrewCarey passes out

D_Siegel: And thank God I wasn't nominated like these people: Drew Carey, Peter Cook, Debi Durst, George McGrath, George Wendt

* LHall_RVr pauses briefly in their playing for a swig of the scotch on top of the piano
* DrewCarey sits motionless
* LTaylor grabs a bottle of champagne and leaves
* BreMerton hopes Drew gets up there, slips on stage, and everyone laughs AT him

D_Siegel: The winner, which is a huge shock to me. . . Drew Carey

* LTaylor realises the shows not over and comes back...
* DrewCarey is still unconscious
LTaylor: Wake up Drew!!
Chip: I always laughed at your jokes...
* BreMerton looks at drew and says HA HA! 4 Worst awards!
DrewCarey: Wha... wha...
Mochrie: (as Eugene, sitting way in the back row, sheepishly) Way to go, Drew!
RyanStile: I'll take it for him...
GregP: well, it is WORST contestant
* DrewCarey gets up
JohnSess: I should have won this year.....AGAIN

DrewCarey: Another one for me?
DrewCarey: All RIGHT!

Kat^Tony: I think Drew stuffed the ballot box!
* D_Siegel knocks Drew on the head with the Twiglet, by accident
* DrewCarey passes out again... but now has FOUR Twiglets
RyanStile: He's not the worst contestant, he's the worst host.
Bnkdladie: Tyler: LOL John isn't even good enough to get Worst Contestant!
* DrewCarey doesn't care... Twiglets are Twiglets
Mochrie: (as Eugene) I'll do it!!
* BreMerton sings, together with Kathy Kinney, DREW IS A PIG! DREW IS A PIG!
* DrewCarey wants mouth to mouth from SM Gellar
DrewCarey: ...quite badly
ssb: I bet he does! *g*
* LTaylor plays as loudly as she can to distract everyone from the situation!!
ssb: In your dreams, Drew!
DrewCarey: darn
* DrewCarey gets up and resumes his seat
* D_Siegel takes her seat at Colin and Ryan's table

* Clive stops the kerfuffle by being shot out of a cannon from the back of the theater onto the stage
Clive: Well, ladies and gentlemen, copresenting the next award are two great contestants from days gone by.
Clive: It's Paul Merton and Paul Merton. No, wait, it must be Paul Merton, and Rory Bremner doing an impression!

SteveFro: go rory! go paul!
* LHall_RVr breaks a nail from pounding so hard on the keyboards
SM_Gellar: Hooray!
Kat^Tony: PAUL AND RORY ARE me :op
ssb: Yeah, I vote for Rory!

BreMerton: Hallo everyone, I'm Paul Merton... and 'm Tony Blair.
BreMerton: Actually, I'm Rory Bremner but we weren't supposed to ever know that.
BreMerton: The nominees for... the Denise Simmons Worst Costume Award are...

Mike McShane for 'Braces'

BreMerton: (that's 'suspenders' for you Yankees)
* DrewCarey rearranges his four Twiglets in as many ways as possible to keep himself amused
ssb: Go, Mike, Go, Mike...
Kat^Tony: Drew, you need help!
SM_Gellar: suspenders, yeesh
DrewCarey: Oh yeah, Mimi, well YOU need a Twiglet!

Greg Proops for 'Cow Vest'

ssb: Okay, well, that was painful... ;)
SM_Gellar: Poor cow..
RyanStile: I liked that vest, myself...

Tony Slattery for 'Doc Holliday outfit'

Kat^Tony: Goooo Tony!! (as Tony) Gooooo Me!!
* Mochrie counts his Twiglets.....none.
ssb: No! NOT TONY!!!
ssb: Tony is always stylin'...

Colin Mochrie for 'Maroon sweater'

* DrewCarey laughs and applauds
* D_Siegel takes away Drew's Twiglets because he shouldn't play with his food!
DrewCarey: No! No! Give those back!

Ryan Stiles for 'Neon Love Chicken shirt'

* WayneB goes closer to drew and notices one of his twiglets is getting moldy
ssb: No, I LOVE that shirt!!! NOOOO!
Kat^Tony: Well that was a cool shirt!
ssb: Awesome shirt!
* RyanStile looks down, wearing aforementioned shirt...
BreMerton: Paul: And just a reminder, Neon Love Chicken will be served at the after-show party on the buffet.
* DrewCarey steals back all the Twiglets and locks them in a cooler
LTaylor: I love that shirt too!!!!
ssb: Rock on, Linda! :)
DrewCarey: Oooh, my favorite
LTaylor: I will! ;o)

Josie Lawrence, for 'Peter Pan Outfit'

ssb: Yes! I like that choice!
Josie: what's wrong with peter pan?
ssb: Not that I remember it...
SteveFro: josie could win it for ANY costume
SM_Gellar: *changes her mind and cheers for the peter pan thing*
ssb: Stop, Steve. Meanie...

and Jan Ravens for 'Silver Jacket'

JohnSess: *ahem* John Session for rolled up pants
* WayneB takes drew's cooler and throwes it out the door
Kat^Tony: LoL, I don't think so John :op
* DrewCarey promises to behave from here on out. Or at least to try...
RyanStile: More like, John Sessions, anything he wears.
Kat^Tony: Thanks Wayne :o)
JohnSess: But did happen!!

BreMerton: And the weiner... er, I mean winner, is... Josie Lawrence for Peter Pan outfit!

* D_Siegel claps
* DrewCarey gets back the Twiglets, though
* Steen^Kat shoves a trout in John's mouth
* Josie is pissed
* Mochrie gives Josie a hug
* SteveFro cheers until he is hoarse!!!!!!!!!!!!
ssb: Yay!!! :) Can you guys describe the outfit???
* LTaylor plays the beached whale song!
* LHall_RVr plays for Josie
Kat^Tony: I should have won :op But I am glad that Josie did :o)
* Josie makes her way to the stage in superman attire
D_Siegel: hey! Stay north of the border Drew!
Mochrie: It may not be the world's flattering award, Josie, but you're always a winner to me ;-)
SM_Gellar: awwww
D_Siegel: awwwwwww! That's sweet!

BreMerton: psst, hey Josie, guard this award with your life, because Drew might try to take it

* DrewCarey nudges Colin and says, "Hey man, how come Josie has more than you?"
* JohnSess pulls out trout and slaps BreMerton upside the head
Kat^Tony: Go Josie! Go Josie!

Josie: I enjoy dressing like superheroes.

ssb: Because you ARE one! ;)
Bnkdladie: Tyler: Wow, Josie looks hot.....
Mochrie: Ate a little too much Brie at the commissary, Steve?
Bnkdladie: Ty: Josie! You rock!
ssb: Go, women, go, women... ;)
SM_Gellar: Go josie!

Josie: Thank you very much to my wardrobe assistant, my make up artist and the 12 members of my wardrobe staff

* WayneB takes drew's cooler, puts it in clive's cannon and fires the twiglets out the window
* LTaylor plays Josie off the stage
DrewCarey: NOOOOOO...!
* Kat^Tony tells Tony to stop crying, 'It's good that you didn't win honey'
DrewCarey: Oh great... I'll get those later. I'll be getting more, I'm sure

BreMerton: And now, on the other side of the spectrum, the Rebecca Allen Best Costume Award. Debi Durst's baseball outfit is NOT nominated, sorry.

ssb: Tony, you'll win for this one, maybe
SM_Gellar: *gives tony a big hug*
ssb: Thank God...nothing for Debi's outfits...
WayneB: she won last year
Kat^Tony: Aww thanks Buffy or Sarah or whatever you liked to be called :o)

BreMerton: And the nominees are: Colin Mochrie for 'Bird Tie'

* DrewCarey applauds and hopes Colin finally gets one
ssb: Go, Colin!
* Mochrie looks down at his tie, and smiles.
LTaylor: YAY Colin!
RyanStile: Go, Colin!

Tony Slattery for 'Doc Holliday Outfit'

Kat^Tony: YAY ME!!
SM_Gellar: are you ok tony?
* Kat^Tony likes his Doc holiday outfit

Stephen Fry for 'Glasses & Tea Cosy'

Steen^Kat: Cool

Tony Slattery for 'Leather Jacket'

Kat^Tony: Yay me again!
ssb: Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony...
JohnSess: *ahem* John Sessions for 'Rolled Up Pants" *cough*
* Kat^Tony also likes the jacket...Hey is something going on that I don't know about here?? ;o)
Steen^Kat: Stephen Stephen Stephen

Greg Proops for 'Skull Shirt' (Rory aside, Greg impression: Bitchin'!)

ssb: Yay, Greg!
SteveFro: everyone who wins an award gets a free bowl of jello..........
ssb: Or is it JELLY???
* LTaylor applauds for jell-o
* GregP raises an eyebrow at Rory's impression ... not even close

Greg Proops for 'Suits/Jackets.'

Bnkdladie: Yea Greg Proops rocks!
* DrewCarey has a minion who has just returned with the cooler... now leave it alone, Wayne!

and finally, Karen Maruyama for 'Suspenders.'

Kat^Tony: *claps and hollers*
ssb: Noooo...on the suspenders...
RyanStile: Drew has minions? scary.
ssb: Nothing for Brad's retro shirts? SOB!
* WayneB must get rid of cooler
DrewCarey: You know, bud :-)
SteveFro: karen wears suspenders? Great!
* SteveFro shcesk out her stockings and basque too
DrewCarey Uh oh, Colin... the competition's getting stiff
ssb: Brad wuz robbed...
Clive: and not just because of the suspenders...
DrewCarey: No wait, that's just Ryan
* SteveFro limps to the lavatory

BreMerton: And the winner (And this is the first award for a real Winner, mind you!) is, Greg Proops for 'Suits/Jackets.' Come on up here, Greg.

* LHall_RVr hikes up Laura's skirt some more and plays the winner onstage
* LTaylor starts to play and cheer wildly at the same time!!!
* Mochrie claps enthusiastically
ssb: WOOHOO, Greg! Rock on, Sharp dressin' dude!
Kat^Tony: (as tony) Hey! I should have won that too
* LTaylor tightens her own dress
Bnkdladie: Yea! Greg Won!
* Karen pouts
* RyanStile ignores Drew, applauds loudly for Greg

* GregP takes the stage
GregP: Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. It's nice to win a BEST award.

* D_Siegel pats Colin on the back
BreMerton: Yes Greg, we have awards in America.
* DrewCarey joins Ryan in applauding
* J_lopez *stands up and cheers for Greg*
Karen: oh well, it was my first ever nomination...

GregP: I'm glad you all like my fashion sense, and for those who are wondering, I do still have the skull shirt. Thank you.
* GregP takes the Twiglet and returns to his seat

* BreMerton sits down
* SteveFro returns from the lavatory with a grin on his face
Mochrie: Good try Karen, maybe next year
* LTaylor cringes at Steve!

* Clive bungees down from the roof

DrewCarey: Steven, did you TP the bathroom again???
Bnkdladie Steve: You and I have the same taste in glasses Greg! You rock!
* SteveFro giggles loudly
* JohnSess also comes back from the smile
Bnkdladie Ed: Settle down Steve....
* D_Siegel gives Greg a hug before he sits down
* LTaylor cringes even more!!
LTaylor: Don't 'jerk' us around, Steve! ;o)
Mochrie: Wow Clive! ANd you didn't even need a stunt double!

Clive: Well, it's not often that you can know someone and work well with them for as many years as I have with this next presenter... And even less often that they then betray you and run off to another country with your show. But, if he can fit through the doorway, here's the fantastically tall and talented, Ryan Stiles.
* RyanStile smiles angelically, adjusts halo as he walks up

J_lopez: hi steve....
* SteveFro offers his right hand to jennifer :)
* Mochrie applauds for his buddy, Ryan
DrewCarey: I call it a philosophical choice, Clive
* J_lopez accepts, forgetting about puffy
* DrewCarey applauds for Ryan as well
* D_Siegel applauds for Ryan
* LTaylor screams and shouts for Ryan!
* SteveFro claps ryan but can see ryan isn;t laughing at him AGAIN
Steen^Kat: "as Kathy" Go Lurch go Lurch
Josie: Take your clothes off Ryan!!!
JohnSess: Hmph....I was the one suggested him back in the UK.
DrewCarey: Trust me... that's not what you want
* SteveFro asks ryan to laugh
Mochrie: Oh john you were not!
JohnSess: How would you know !??!
Kat^Tony: John, shut up for a few!
* Kat^Tony elbows John in the side
BreMerton: John, if you grumble once more I'll have to buzz you out
Mochrie: John: Ryan and I go back 20 years. So there. :-P
RyanStile: And now.....the Thank Goodness You're Here Award for Worst Superhero...
* RyanStile laughs to appease the little people * Steen^Kat puts a sock in John's mouth
* J_lopez hums if you had my love
* DrewCarey wonders if john has ever seen the stripper ep of Drew Carey
* SteveFro offers to receive her love
* LHall_RVr plays brief snippet of Lopez's song

Mochrie Steve, you frisky fox you ;-)
* DrewCarey buzzes John
SteveFro john enjoys being buzzed by another man
* JohnSess gives Drew the 'bird'
Mochrie: Gimme back my bird!
* Mochrie snatches his tie back from Drew and John
* J_lopez smiles at steve sweetly and then watches the ceremony

RyanStile: And the nominees are: Greg Proops, for "Junk Man"

Ryan Stiles, for "Man Who Says Everything Twice Man"

D_Siegel: YOU WOULD!
BreMerton: I DID! I DID!

Debi Durst for "Nagging Jewish Mother Woman"

* J_lopez groans
SteveFro: good one!
* SteveFro is praying debi wins
* J_lopez *is too*
Kat^Tony: Wasn't I host for some of these? :o)
Clive: not in superheroes you weren't :)
Kat^Tony: LoL, My bad! Too much beer before the show
* WayneB grabs drew's twiglet cooler, inserts time bomb and shoves it cannon. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BLASTOFF!!!
* DrewCarey warned Wayne to leave his cooler alone...
* DrewCarey wonders what's up with the lack of nominations for Colin
Clive: Drew, we haven't got to the best awards yet... I think there's a pattern :)
* SteveFro drunkenly waters his shirt with the champagne
* D_Siegel goes over to defend Wayne
J_lopez: Beer is bad! and guns are too!
* Mochrie flashes a slightly depressed look....
* DrewCarey quickly grabs the cooler and replaces it with Wayne himself
DrewCarey: Disco dance your way out of that one!
SteveFro: Jenn, I have the sausage, do you have the dripping?
* D_Siegel releases Wayne and Shoves drew in, but the lid doesn't close!
DrewCarey: waaaait, Clive... hey!
J_lopez: what's dripping?
Josie: i am

Catherine O'Hara for "Sad Drunk Woman"

George Wendt for "Talks too Loud About His Personal Problems Man"

* SteveFro would love to explain.....oh boy would he LOVE to explain!
* DrewCarey turns on the force-field of good behavior. All the others sit down.
* D_Siegel tries to shove the lid closed by sitting on it
Kat^Tony: Drew, just sit there, maybe if your good people will like you, like they like me. Oh wait, they LOVE me :op
* WayneB pulls drew out and put's his twiglets in and throws it out the door. BOOM!
Mochrie: Drew, perhaps you should use it on yourself for a change :)

Josie Lawrence for "Woman Who's Shocked by Everything"

* J_lopez actually liked that one
* Chip thinks his kleptomaniac boy deserved a nomination
* Josie is shocked
* Mochrie pats Tony on the back.

and Greg Proops, for "Zimmer Frame Man"

BreMerton: Zimmer Frame Man!
* SteveFro waits to see if laughing nymphomaniac woman gets a mention
Kat^Tony: Colin, I've missed ya man :o)
GregP: Hey, that one was a good one!
Steen^Kat: Go Zimmer Frame MAN!!!
BreMerton: Greg, before you ask, we call that a "walker" in America
GregP: wouldn't think of it, Paul

RyanStile: And the winner is.... Whoa, Winners are.... Mochrie: A tie?!
LTaylor: *gasps*!
WayneB: drumroll

RyanStile: Debi Durst for "Nagging Jewish Mother Woman" AND George Wendt for "Talks to Loud About His Personal Problems Man"!

* DrewCarey wonders who Debi Durst is
* SteveFro cheers loudly and winks at Jennifer
* LTaylor plays loudly for both winners/losers
* DrewCarey applauds... and gets back his 4 Twiglets once more
* LHall_RVr plays dual winner chords
Steen^Kat: Whoo Hoo Debi!!!!!
Mochrie: Drew: She appeared in 1997.
Steen^Kat: NORM!!!!
* Mochrie applauds for Debi and George
* DrewCarey doesn't know how he should know these people... he's never been to bloody England

* RyanStile hands winners Golden Twiglets
Gwendt: since debi isn't here and i am i have to except both awards
* Gwendt has anther beer and leaves

RyanStile: And nextly, the World Crisis Monitor Award for Best Superhero. And the Nomineees are...
Colin Mochrie, for Karma Sutra Boy

Colin Mochrie, for "Captain Poultry"

J_lopez: GO COLIN!
sue: Wow, Colin is all over this one...
Steen^Kat: Go Captain Poultry :)

Colin Mochrie for "Continuous Unfunny Pun Man"

DrewCarey: let's go for 5 Colin nom's
BreMerton: yay colin!!!
J_lopez: *starts dancing f*
DrewCarey: all right!
sue: Gee, who stuffed the ballot box??? ;)
DrewCarey: go Colin, go Colin...
DrewCarey: not me...
Chip: C'mon Colin!
J_lopez: go colin go colin *dances for colin*

Greg Proops for "Impotence Boy"

* DrewCarey looks away
DrewCarey: boo
GregP: have we dated?
sue: GREG!
* D_Siegel whispers to Colin "You're gonna win" =)

And Colin Mochrie, for "The Rhyming Couplet Kid"!

DrewCarey: 4 out of 5... wow
BreMerton: Oh, I was waiting for that one
sue: I think we know who is gonna take this one..
DrewCarey: Greg better not get it!
SteveFro: this is a tough one to judge
GregP: well, I'm honored just to be in with so many Colin nominations!
J_lopez: go colin go colin!
sue: Issues w/ Greg? :)
DrewCarey: If you'd been here for a while, you'd know
GregP: gee, thanks for your touching display of support, Drew

RyanStile: And, the shock winner is..... Holy moly, a shock indeed! Greg proops, for "Impotence Boy"!

DrewCarey: WHAT!!!!
* LTaylor watches Colin storm out
Mochrie: Come again?!
* SteveFro hisses
* LHall_RVr plays surprise winner music
* GregP's jaw drops in amazement
* DrewCarey waves good-bye to Colin
* LTaylor stares in amazement
* Chip goes and sings a lullabye to Colin
* J_lopez *runs over to colin and gives him a big hug
* DrewCarey picks up Greg's jaw
sue: Well, Greg RULES as the Super Hero...c'mon, he does...
Josie: I still love you Colin
* Kat^Tony Hugs Colin
Bnkdladie: Steven:Woooohooo!! Greg you rock!!
* Steen^Kat dances with JOY
* LTaylor knocks at the back of Greg's head with her guitar
J_lopez: Do you want me to sing to you Colin?
* Mochrie waves goodbye to Drew as he kicks his ass into next Tuesday
sue: You KNOW he does...sorry, Colin.
DrewCarey: Go Armpit Man!
* RyanStile goes after Colin to comfort him, leaves Greg's Twiglet on podium
* D_Siegel gives Colin a big smoochie so he hopefully forgets
Bnkdladie Ed: Have you been drinking Steve?
DrewCarey: Boy Colin, you must have mother issues or something

* GregP takes the stage
GregP: Well, this IS a shock. Colin, would you come up here, please?
* Mochrie joins Greg on the stage
GregP: I can only assume my win came about because Colin's four wonderful superheroes split the vote.
Mochrie: *shakes Greg's hand* Congrats greg, you deserve it.
GregP: So i'd like to share the honor of this award with him.
GregP: Colin? what do you say?
* Mochrie high-fives Greg and kisses the Twiglet statue
Mochrie: I'd be honoured Greg

DrewCarey: That makes sense...
sue: Greg, you're so humble. ;)
* DrewCarey nods thoughtfully
sue: Colin is so gracious. We love you, Colin!
sue: Awww...snif...touching...wild applause...
DrewCarey: So... you're gonna break it in half?
* LTaylor gets a chainsaw
J_lopez: *cries on steve's shoulder because the're so nice*
sue: What a beautiful moment...
Kat^Tony: *Claps and cheers* Greg you're great! :op
* D_Siegel is getting teary
* LTaylor hands the chain-saw to Colin
* RyanStile grabs one of Drew's Twiglets, gives it to Colin
sue: Let's see a kiss...
J_lopez: *wipes her eyes and smiles*
DrewCarey: Now I only have 3

* GregP lets Linda saw the award in half, gives half to Colin
* LHall_RVr plays a sentimental tune
* LTaylor plays along
Mochrie: Greg, greg, he's our man / If he can't do it...nobody else could even do!
GregP: thanks, Colin

* Clive Rises up from a hole in the stage, smoke spraying out everywhere.
Clive: And so, to one of my oldest friends on the show, in fact the woman who can claim to have spanned the longest time on the show's history. Ladies and gentlemen, go wild with sexual frenzy (well, gentlemen at least), for the one and only Josie Lawrence.

* EnnReitel applauds
Steen^Kat: YAY, Josie!!!!!!
* Mochrie applauds vociferously
Kat^Tony: GO JOSIE!
J_lopez: *is jealous of Josie*
* DrewCarey thinks about going wild with sexual frenzy, but decides against it (there are too many people around)
sue: Who isn't? I know *I* am! ;)
* DrewCarey applauds
* LTaylor applauds
* BreMerton hugs Jennifer because she deserves some attention
* DrewCarey rings doorbell
* SteveFro gives merton a damn good thrashing
SteveFro: she's mine!

Josie: Good Evening everybody. I'm presenting the Doorbell Award for Worst Party Quirk. And the nominees are:

Paul Merton for "Can only use words with 2 syllables"

sue: Hey, Paul was *good* in that one!!! ;)

Me for footballer.

Jim Sweeney for "in love with carpets"

Kat^Tony: Kat: I liked that one of Jim's

Steve Frost for "must name a body part in every sentence"

Wayne Brady for "Slow motion fight"

John Sessions for "Thinks he's underwater"

* J_Lopez *will give the winner a big kiss*
J_lopez: *except john*
JohnSess: I'm ready to snap if I don't win
* RyanStile looks around, hoping to not see any ABC censors

Josie: And the twiglet goes to: JOHN SESSIONS for "Thinks he's underwater"!!!!!!!

sue: Yay!!!!
JohnSess: FINALLY!!!!
* LTaylor heckles John
D_Siegel: Ha ha!
Kat^Tony: yay john! (I guess :op)
J_lopez: *will NOT kiss John Sessions*
RyanStile: Whoooo!
JohnSess: Where's Ms Lopez !??!
* BreMerton holds John back from bolting on stage for getting his award
JohnSess: Fine....Where's Steen!??!?
SteveFro: ooh-er missus
sue: Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss! ;)
DrewCarey: OK John...
WayneB: OH NO!!!!!!!!
Steen^Kat: WHY!!! JOHN!!!
* LTaylor plays LOUDLY to get John off the stage!
* LHall_RVr plays snippet of John's TV folksong
* Steen^Kat ducks the flying beer
* JohnSess prances to stage.
* Kat^Tony slaps JohnSess around a bit with a large trout
JohnSess: Can I please speak!!??
* Steen^Kat goes onstage and hugs John
* Josie hands the twiglet award to a very grateful John Sessions
Chip: *thinks Josie looks 'double dreamy'*
* Mochrie claps at John's good fortune :)
* LTaylor plays music Loudly!!
Josie: I *do* look double dreamy

JohnSess: I have no one to 'Thank' but MYSELF!!! Thank me.
* JohnSess walks back to seat, but not before slapping Tony

* BreMerton buzzes John
Kat^Tony: (as Kat) gives John a peck on the cheek and a hug (he kinda deserves it.....kinda)
* LTaylor ushers John offstage
Chip: *takes Josie by the arm and sneaks away*
GregP: it's a WORST. Of course he deserves it
Josie: Ooh Chip, you naughty boy.
Chip: hehe...

Josie: And the next award is the Twiglets Twiglet for Best Party Quirk! The nominees are:

Josie for "a penis"

LTaylor: Yay!
RyanStile: Go Josie!
DrewCarey: Way to nominate yourself
Chip *in light of this, decides Josie may not be right for him*

Ryan Stiles for "animals crossing the road"

Steen^Kat: Oh YAY!!!!
RyanStile: Go me!!
sue: Yay, Ryan! :)
sue: Ryan rocks at animals!
LTaylor: Yay ryan!

Tony Slattery as Chippendale

Kat^Tony: Go me!
* D_Siegel flirts with Chip
sue: Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony...
DrewCarey: Ah, the Chippendale
RyanStile: Go Tony!
Chip: hellooooo Denny
sue: Ryan, that is so kind of you... ;)
sue: Ryan is the consummate gentleman..
* SteveFro removes all his clothes
* DrewCarey buzzes Steve Frost
JohnSess: Ahhh, yes....the Chippendale....Remember THAT weekend Tony?
* SteveFro says "how was it for you drew?"
DrewCarey: BUZZ
* Steen^Kat grabs Drew's buzzer and runs off and sits down by Kathy Kinney

Colin Mochrie for "experiencing too much gravity"

RyanStile: Gooooooo, Colin!!!
BreMerton: I'm...being...serious!
* Mochrie slimes politely....
Mochrie: slimes?! hehe, sorry
Kat^Tony: Go everyone who was nominated!

Ryan Stiles for "Fireworks display"

sue: Yay, Ryan. Good one!
SteveFro: Ryan - fireworks - YESSSSSSSS!
* D_Siegel sits in the vacant seat by Chip

Ryan Stiles for "foal being born"

RyanStile: three....whoa...
* Steen^Kat hopes Josie wins for her penis
Steen^Kat: :P

AND Ryan Stiles for "Gazelle being stalked by a lion"

sue: Ryan, got it wrapped up, I think...
RyanStile: LOL!
DrewCarey: Not in public, Steve!
sue: Yay!!
Josie: I don't have a penis......
RyanStile: Hey, remember Superheroes...
* SteveFro stands naked on a table and farts
Steen^Kat: :)

Josie: And the winner is:...

DrewCarey: Come on, come on...
JohnSess: And the winner is John Sessions for being a Dickhead
* Mochrie waits with bated breath

Josie: Ryan Stiles for "foal being born"!

Kat^Tony: Yay Ryan!!
LTaylor: YAY!!!
sue: YAY!!! YAY!!! Yay, Ryan!!
DrewCarey: haha
DrewCarey: I remember
* Steen^Kat grabs a tablectothe and covers Steve Frost
SteveFro steve tears a hole in it with a part of his body
SteveFro: oops
* Mochrie applauds robustly. Yay Ryan!!
* LTaylor plays loudly and cheers!
sue: Excellent one, Ryan! My fave of yours! Yay!
D_Siegel: yeah!
Kat^Tony: John, why talk about yourself like that?

* RyanStile runs up to the stage unsteadily

DrewCarey: All the points I have left go to Ryan for putting his head there.
sue: No one does a foal like Ryan! :)
* LHall_RVr plays Ryan onstage
DrewCarey: I think Colin deserves credit too
sue: Thank God!
SteveFro: neigh! neigh!
DrewCarey: ...I mean, without him it wouldn't have been possible

* Josie hands the twiglet to Ryan, who has NEVER played a penis!
RyanStile: I do think that Colin deserves this as much as I do....
RyanStile: For actually letting me do that.

JohnSess: But has played WITH one!!!
SteveFro: has he ever played WITH penis? Like John?
Steen^Kat: Har har
J_Lopez: *runs up on stage, gives Ryan a BIG KISS and then runs back off*
JohnSess: I said SHHHH, Steve!!!

RyanStile: Eeep!

sue: Sweet! ;)
J_Lopez: *giggles*
* SteveFro has lost his underpants with a picture of Denalda Williams on the front
* Josie suggests that after the show we all go and kick John's ass!!!
sue: Not a pretty picture, that...

RyanStile: Heck, he deserves it MORE than I do, for re-enacting it afterwards! So, Colin, this one's for you.

DrewCarey: Ewwww
JohnSess: Men first though!!
DrewCarey: ...oh wait, I was there
* SteveFro proves he has more hair elsewhere than on his head
JohnSess: said 'KICK".....nevermind.
Kat^Tony: Eww!
GregP: you proved that on "Jack and Jeremy", Steve

* RyanStile walks back to table, hands Twiglet to Colin
* Mochrie whoops it up, and pats Ryan's back as he returns to his seat
* Clive swings down to the stage on a Tarzan rope

Kat^Tony: Clive you are so cool!
DrewCarey: Nice loin cloth Clive
* D_Siegel goes over to give Ryan and Colin a big Smoochie!

Clive: Well, thankyou Ryan. And now, though he may be strangely missing one half of his normal duo, the next award will be presented by the wondefully short Steve Steen.

Kat^Tony: Go Steve!!
SteveFro: jim is in panto

* SSteen walks to the stage
SSteen: Okay and now for The Improv Improvement Award for Most Improved Contestant

SteveFro: Plus he's got an alphabet exam tomorrow
Josie: what's after b?
SSteen: and I also studder too :)
J_Lopez: *wants Brad to win*
* DrewCarey applauds for Greg to win it
SteveFro: gotta be brad
sue: Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad...Go, Studmuffin!
* DrewCarey thinks Greg or Brad

SSteen: The Nominees are:

GregP: Yeah, Brad's my guess. He's made leaps and bounds.
J_Lopez: *hangs with Brad - low key - no one knows*
sue: He rocks our little world...Pretty Boy Brad!!!
J_Lopez: Yay Brad!
Josie: Brad is my *love monkey*
sue: Lucky you, Jennifer! *jealous glance*
DrewCarey: ...who was too good to even BE HERE tonight!
sue: Oh, lucky, lucky you... *swooning*
GregP: he's shooting craps in Vegas

SSteen: Just waiting for the envelope :)

DrewCarey: well, you got the monkey part right
sue: Yeah, but I'll tell him he won... ;)
* RyanStile cowers away from all the Brad-praise
sue: Not to to worry...
J_Lopez: Go Brad *dances for him*
Mochrie: That sounds like a strange hobby Greg!
* DrewCarey comes to Ryan
RyanStile: Monkeys frighten me....
sue: He is winning big time, too, or so he says...
DrewCarey: It's okay, buddy
DrewCarey: They love you too
sue: Right on! Monkeys rule! ;)

* SSteen is standing looking stupid on the stage

GregP: we are experiencing technical difficulties...
J_Lopez: do you want me to sing while you wait?
sue: Yes, please! :)
* DrewCarey whispers to Steve "Pssst... do the nominees"
J_Lopez: *belts out into if you had my love*
sue: SIng something from Kid Rock! :) Limp Bizkit! :)
RyanStile: "Bawitaba"!
* WayneB runs backstage looking for the envelope
RyanStile: or "Faith"!
sue: Have Wayne sing!
* DrewCarey just belts Jennifer Lopez
Kat^Tony: Everything ok there Steve?
* LHall_RVr plays along to Jennifer's singing
WayneB: no

Wayne Brady

DrewCarey: Go Wayne
sue: Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne...
J_Lopez: *dances for awhlie - forgetting the words*
DrewCarey: I want you to sing in the style of Ricky Martin

Rory Bremner

Drew Carey

sue: Go, Brad, Go, Brad...
WayneB: booooooo
* Kat^Tony continue to both hit John. Just for fun :o)
DrewCarey: wahhh
RyanStile: Jennifer, are you going to take that from Drew?
LTaylor: Shake your bon-bon!
* LHall_RVr fills the gap with instrumentals

Steve Frost

* Bnkdladie shakes her bon bon
Kat^Tony: GO STEVE!!
sue: Just give it to Brad and we can move on... ;)
Josie: Go Steve!
DrewCarey: Come on, Ryan, you're supposed to back me up
SteveFro: I've won!!!!!!!!
J_Lopez: ah, he let me have his twiglet

Caroline Quentin

Brad Sherwood

RyanStile: Nooo, no no.
DrewCarey: Yaya
sue: Brad, Brad, he's our man...
Natalie & Steph scream!
Kat^Tony: Yay!

and Denny Siegel

RyanStile: This isn't 3HBS
DrewCarey: Gotta be Brad
DrewCarey: PBB!
Josie: if he can't do it, someone else will
GregP: patience, Sue. There is order to these things, you know.
J_Lopez: *stops dancing and stands beside SSteen*
sue: B R A D!!! ;)
* SteveFro was a little premature, as usual eh Caroline?
Kat^Tony: But Steve's got the sasuage (as Kat not Tony :op)
sue: Okay. Sowwy. :)
Caroline: yes steve, quite

SSteen: And the winner is Brad Sherwood

DrewCarey: of course
J_Lopez: *jumps up and down*
* SSteen claps
LTaylor: 'yay Brad!!!
* LHall_RVr plays monkey music
Kat^Tony: YAY! Go Brad!
JohnSess: HMPH I also suggested Brad back in the UK.
DrewCarey: I think Wayne should accept the award
sue: YAY!!!!!!! :) :) :)
Natalie & Steph scream!
SteveFro: well done Brad
* RyanStile cheers
DrewCarey: his... partner in crime
Kat^Tony: Sure you did John....Sure you did
* SteveFro is genuinely not bitter
SteveFro: more a lager, really
J_Lopez: *claps and is still on stage*
* D_Siegel gives Brad a smoochie!
sue: I can't wait to go tell his minions...woohoo! :)
DrewCarey: Go on, Wayne
* Josie gives Steve a big kiss!
* LTaylor grabs the mic
DrewCarey: SOMEONE needs to take the award
* WayneB is not brad
J_Lopez: Come on wayne!
SteveFro: get away from me witch!
sue: I wanna give him one, too! ;)
LTaylor: Unfortunately...he's not here to accept it!
J_Lopez: I'll take it!

SSteen: I'd like to say that Brad's in LV and I'll take this to him

sue: He's too busy gambling... ;)
DrewCarey: okay, Steve, start walkin'
J_Lopez: I'm his friend.... ya, that's right
* WayneB is on a washroom break
GregP: playing endless hands of Pai Gow
* JohnSess follows Wayne to the bathroom
* D_Siegel sighs, that was the only award she was nominated for
GregP: but it's an honor just to be nomineated, Denny!
D_Siegel: I know! But still!
J_Lopez: *is still on stage but doesn't leave*

SSteen: And now The Paul Merton 'Best Smile' Twiglet.

* SteveFro fancies his chances
Kat^Tony: Yay!!
LHall_RVr (as Laura) Yay! I'm up!
WayneB: JOHN!!!!!!
DrewCarey: Come on, Jennifer, you can come sit with me
sue: Yay! :) Sisters are doing it for themselves... ;)
SSteen: Security, Jennifer Lopez won't leave
JohnSess: What !?!??
SteveFro: i'll make her leave...
* SteveFro shows her his private bits
RyanStile Hey, anyone want to do lines of powdered Twiglet with me?
Josie: Just show her your crack, Steve.
J_Lopez: *runs away frightened*

Clive Anderson

sue: Clive *is* a cutie...

Wayne Brady

Drew Carey

sue: Oh, so tough to choose... ;)
D_Siegel: come on Wayne!
Josie: i've had Clive

Laura Hall

* LHall_RVr *bounce*

Greg Proops

RyanStile: I've had Drew...
sue: Was he good, Josie? :)
RyanStile: Oops....
Josie: WHY?!?
SteveFro: Josie, stop bothering me! You are a psycho bitch child of Satan!
Kat^Tony: LoL, Josie I'll talk to YOU after the show ;o) If Tony let's me
Josie: Thank you.

John Sessions

DrewCarey: I was nominated for best smile?
J_Lopez: *sits down by drew*
DrewCarey: yay
Chip: John was nominated but not me? *goes in the corner and sulks*
Kat^Tony: Go me!

Tony Slattery

SSteen: And the winner is: Wayne Brady!

LTaylor: Yay Wayne!!!
* DrewCarey puts his arm around Lopez. "Hey babe, I'm rich"
* SSteen auplauds
sue: Yay, Wayne! :)
Kat^Tony: Aww Chip *Kat goes and hugs him*
* Mochrie claps enthusiastically
* LHall_RVr pouts but plays the winner onstage anyway
Kat^Tony: GO WAYNE!
JohnSess: DAMN!!!! And I had my teeth Capped just for that reason !!
* D_Siegel claps wildly
RyanStile: Yahoo, Wayne!
DrewCarey: go on, wayne...
* Caroline whistles
J_Lopez: drew - so am I
DrewCarey: oh... okay
DrewCarey: Well, I'll have to win you over with personality then
J_Lopez: lol
DrewCarey: (darn)

* WayneB goes on stage
* SSteen give Wayne the award and walks off stage
* WayneB takes twiglet and smiles
* D_Siegel runs on stage and gives Wayne a huge smoochie!
* WayneB walks of stage

Chip: *cries on Kat^Tony's shoulder as if on broadway*
BreMerton: Drew, you have the personality of a waffle iron
Kat^Tony: Oh Chip, Don't worry :o)
SteveFro: and the IQ of a bucket of water
sue: He's smoking??? ;)
DrewCarey: hmph
DrewCarey: But when I put on leather pants I am a MACHO MAN
Chip: :0)
* SSteen^Ka grabs Drew and kicks him in the arse
D_Siegel: eewwwwww!
DrewCarey: What? The glasses don't help?
Kat^Tony: Drew you need help! :op
JohnSess: does for me :-)
* DrewCarey dons leather pants
D_Siegel: no Drew!
J_Lopez: *gets up, picturing Drew in leather pants*
DrewCarey: Don't mess with me...
RyanStile: Actually, the glasses do do something.....
sue: Tony in leather...YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Clive hops in on a pogo stick
Mochrie: Did you know how fast you were going on that pogo stick?
Clive: And to present our next award, a man whose cracks are like no other... the one and only Steve Frost.

SSteen^Ka: Where's the Host
SSteen^Ka: CLIVE!!!!
DrewCarey: (Everybody was kung-fu fighting...)
BreMerton: When you put on leather pants, we go into our bomb shelters and take cover
* Kat^Tony pictures Tony in leather pants! Yummy! LoL :op

SteveFro: Thankyou kindly. Jennifer, see you in the car park!!

SSteen^Ka: Go other Steve
Kat^Tony: YAY STEVE!
Josie: steve, you're my hero!
J_Lopez: lol

* SteveFro shows his arse and waits for the whoops of joy

* DrewCarey vomits
Kat^Tony: Well Sue, I get to leave with Tony :op
SSteen^Ka: why thank you, oh you're talking about ehem HIM
J_Lopez: *was looking at her but and missed it*

SteveFro: This is the Drunken Soap Star Award for Best Credit Reading...
J_Lopez: *whispers something in steve's ear*
SteveFro: this is the WORST credit reading, not the best :)

J_Lopez: *walks up and joins Steve on stage*
sue: Lucky you. *snif* I still got my Brad, though. :)

SteveFro: and the nominees are.........

Peter Cook for "NY cab driver"...
* SteveFro asks for a minute's silence in his memory

SSteen^Ka: I get to leave with Kathy Kinney and it's frighening me
Kat^Tony: Brad's a hottie too! :o)
SSteen^Ka: BOOO, Jennifer Lopez
DrewCarey: That would frighten me, too
Kat^Tony: LoL
SSteen^Ka: Oh go on

John Sessions for Sean Connery

Kat^Tony: Go John! :op
* Mochrie tallies up his twiglets.....uh.....none
JohnSess: HEYYYY!!!.....nevermind
LTaylor: Aww~!
Dani^Ryan: I get to leave with depressing.
GregP: you have a half, Colin!
J_Lopez: *puts one arm around Steve F*
* LTaylor hugs Colin!
* DrewCarey pats Colin on the back and lends him a twiglet
DrewCarey: Here... pretend like it's yours, bud
Dani^Ryan: Colin has one and a half.
JohnSess: Who leaves with me?
Mochrie: Your ego, naturally :)
GregP: Check the percentages on the MB, Colin, we practically tied for the award anyway

Archie Hahn for Sports Announcer

Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles for Testing A Rollercoaster

and Josie Lawrence *madpsychobitchchildofSatan* and Caroline Quentin for Two Teenage Boys

Kat^Tony: Go Josie and Caroline!
Josie: madpsychobitchchildofsatan?!?

SteveFro: and the winner is..........

DrewCarey: please not me...

SteveFro: can i have a drumroll?

* LTaylor guitar rolls
J_Lopez: *dances instead*
* LHall_RVr piano rolls

SteveFro: PsychoBitchFromHell (Josie) and Caroline for Two Teenage Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Josie jumps for joy!
Kat^Tony: YAY!!
* SSteen^Ka pulls away from Kathy Kinny
DrewCarey: Don't be bothered by Steven, Josie. It's... part of his charm
LTaylor: WTG psychobitchfromhell and Caroline!!
D_Siegel: yeah!
* Mochrie jelly rolls
JohnSess: You again, Steen !??!
Josie: You can kiss my hairy ass, Steve!!
JohnSess: What the.....DAMN !!!
DrewCarey: hahaha

* Caroline runs onstage

SteveFro: hairier than mine, certainly you hermaphrodite
SSteen^Ka: YAY!!!
DrewCarey: ewww, hairy?
Dani^Ryan: Gooo, Josie and Caroline!
LTaylor: ewww!!
DrewCarey: I thought I was the only one...
* D_Siegel likes to see Colin Jelly roll

* Josie runs on stage and grabs caroline's breasts

Mochrie: Ever hear of Nair Josie?
J_Lopez: *doesn't like Josie and leaves the stage*

Caroline: don't touch those you slut!
Josie: you liked it before......

SteveFro: Josie, don't sing. Please don't sing!

Caroline: i would like to thank everyone here, except paul, you git...

WayneB: this is getting ugly
DrewCarey: Woah....
SteveFro: lol
* DrewCarey saves a seat for Josie
* LHall_RVr plays snippet of beached whale song
* BreMerton storms the stage... TAKE ME BACK, CAROLINE! PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!!
* Dani^Ryan must soon put on the pretty white coat and depart...

Josie: i would like to thank myself, and caroline
Caroline: go away paul or i'll hit you!

* SteveFro farts into the microphone
SteveFro: better out than in
BreMerton: not before I hit you!

Josie: Is anyone else as aroused by steve as I am?

DrewCarey: NO
* D_Siegel calls security to escort Steve out!
Dani^Ryan: NO!
* SSteen^Ka runs on stage and drags Paul
JohnSess: i am!!
J_Lopez: come with me paul... *takes pauls arm*
Caroline: thank you jennifer
BreMerton: of course I will, babe :-)
J_Lopez: you're welcome caroline
J_Lopez: lets sit down paul

SteveFro: On to the Deep Sea Nazi Captain's Twiglet for BEST CREDIT READING!!!!!

Dani^Ryan: Frankly, I'm more aroused by Drew in leather pants.
Josie: drew's wearing leather.....:)
* DrewCarey winks at Dani^Ryan

Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles for 'Colin snaps and says what he really thinks to Ryan'...

* SSteen^Ka winks at Caroline
* DrewCarey thinks there should be a "Worst Behaved at the Awards Ceremony Award" (Steve Frost has it)
Kat^Tony: Go Colin!

Tony Slattery for Drunken Australian Soap Star

Kat^Tony: Go Me!!
Josie: go Tony!
Dani^Ryan: Colin, my man! You rule!
GregP: no, Drew, I think you take that one

Greg Proops (overrated) for Elvis Costello

JohnSess: What about me?
GregP: Hey!
Kat^Tony: YAY!
Mochrie: No man, you rule!
Dani^Ryan: Hey, that was a good one!
Bnkdladie: Steven:Overrated? No way! Greeeeg rocks!
Josie: F#%$ you John
Dani^Ryan: no, man, YOU rule!

Colin Mochrie for Adopts As Many Positions As Possible

DrewCarey: Greg, a personal vendetta does not mean I'm the worst behaved
GregP: Steve, no editorials!
D_Siegel: gotta be colin!
Ciolin Mochrie for Making As Many Faces As Possible

WayneB: ciolin?
Kat^Tony: LoL
SSteen^Ka: What I'm not nominated?
* BreMerton wonders if Linda Taylor knows how to play the ciolin
Dani^Ryan: Ciolin? Dude, when did you have a twin brother?
DrewCarey: does that rhyme with violin?

Ryan Stiles & Greg Proops for Movie Producers Pitching An Idea To The Studio Boss

LTaylor: LOL!!
Mochrie: No! That's my musical instrument!
Dani^Ryan: LOL, sorry 'bout that.
* Mochrie takes his Ciolin out if its case
Josie: a ciolin is a cello/violin mix

Mike McShane (editorial: MUST WIN!) for Television Evangelist

and Ryan Stiles & Greg Proops for Two Bickering Brothers

Mochrie: Very astute, Josie :)
DrewCarey: of course...

SteveFro: and the winner is........ drumroll please!

* DrewCarey wonders if Laura Hall knows how to play the Ciolin
* DrewCarey drums his fingers
* GregP rolls drum, it crashes into the stage wall
Mochrie: I'll give her lessons ;-)
LHall_RVr: Still learning

SteveFro: Colin Mochrie & Ryan Stiles for Colin Snaps And Says What He Really Thinks to Ryan!!!!!!!!!!

LTaylor: ROFL!
* BreMerton steals one of Drew's Twiglets because he stole my joke
* DrewCarey laughs at the destruction
Kat^Tony: WOO HOO!!!!!
GregP: Yay! *applause*
D_Siegel: Yeah!
* LHall_RVr plays closing credit music
Dani^Ryan: Gooooooo, Colin!!!!
* Mochrie grabs Ryan and heads to the stage
SteveFro: Steve farts in Ryan's face
J_Lopez: * needs attention *
* DrewCarey has no more Twiglets
SteveFro: oops
SSteen^Ka: YAY
DrewCarey: boo hoo
JohnSess: I would like to say what I think of all of you !!!!
* Dani^Ryan trips Steve on the way up
* SSteen^Ka slaps Steve Frost
J_Lopez: drew - we'll share mine

Mochrie: Well, I just have to say -- I didn't mean any of the things I said that day.

J_Lopez: well, really your's
J_Lopez: awwwwwwwww
SSteen^Ka: *sniff*
BreMerton: Drew... you have -4 Twiglets, which means you owe us four
* SteveFro giggles at anything Colin says

Dani^Ryan: And I have to say....I love you, man.....

DrewCarey: No, I have four... you can't count
* D_Siegel is getting teary
DrewCarey: Well, now I have zero
DrewCarey: WAHHH
SSteen^Ka: Steve shut up you twat
Kat^Tony: Steve loves Colin, Steve loves Colin!

* Dani^Ryan hugs Colin

* LHall_RVr reaches for a tissue
D_Siegel: Colin, or eugene?
SteveFro: i need a tissue too, but for a different reason...
Mochrie: Go Col, Go....
Dani^Ryan: Huh?
SSteen^Ka: Hehehehe
Caroline: steve!
* Clive rolls onto stage in a drum
Clive: And now for our next award, the presenter is someone who most of you will probably love.

SteveFro: anyone care for a cup of my pants broth?
* LTaylor tapes Steve's mouth shut
Kat^Tony: Clive, my man, You kick ass!! :o)

Clive: Sorry Paul, but here is Caroline Quentin.

* EnnReitel applauds
* Mochrie returns to his seat
* Dani^Ryan Dani is cheering from back of room
* LTaylor applauds!
J_Lopez:*holds Paul back*

Caroline: thank you all

BreMerton: BOOOOOO!
* Mochrie applauds
SSteen^Ka: Whoo hoo

Caroline: the award is The 'Birds Nest' Twiglet for Best Beard

* DrewCarey looks at the chaos this show has become
* BreMerton goes up onstage and slaps Caroline
Chip: Uhoh! Could this be the return of Battlestar Gallactica? (or gladiators?)
* Dani^Ryan walks down, firmly smacking Steve on the return trip
Josie: i've gotta win this one!
J_Lopez: *pulls Paul back off*
SSteen^Ka: Oh Jonathn Pryce isn't here

Caroline: the stunning nominees are:

MIke McShane

Mochrie: Wait! Here he comes now!
BreMerton: Yes, I'll come with you Jennifer
JonPryce makes a dramatic entrance at the rear of the room

Jonathan Pryce

SteveFro: Josie's beard goes from her chin to her thighs, apparently
SteveFro: i think we'll all come with jennifer......
SSteen^Ka: Go Jonathan!!!!!!!
JonPryce: Sorry I'm late, I got tied up making a new movie with Madonna

John Sessions

Kat^Tony: John's beard was just scarey!
Dani^Ryan: Is Mike here?
DrewCarey: No, he's getting liposuction

Caroline: And the winner is:

BreMerton: Did John Sessions win a BEST award? Poppycock!
DrewCarey: I know, because I'm after him

Caroline: Mike McShane!

Dani^Ryan: You'd know, Drew?
Kat^Tony: GO MIKE!
* JohnSess runs to stage
DrewCarey: Well... he's not here, but I'm a fat guy too, so I'll take it
* DrewCarey pushes John out of the way
JohnSess: I'll accept the award for Mike
SteveFro: you are also hideous and untalented

The floor starts to shake as McShane thunders through the door and down the aisle.

DrewCarey: no you won't! he hates you!
J_Lopez: I am beautiful and talented
SSteen^Ka: John's going to get hit now
DrewCarey: uh oh... here he is

McShane: Hold it John.

GregP: Mike! There you are!
* JohnSess bitch-slaps Drew
* DrewCarey sits down quickly

* McShane strides purposefully towards the stage

DrewCarey: Ow!
* JohnSess sulks back to seat

* Caroline hands over the crunchy twiglet
McShane: I'll take that.

SteveFro: I must go. Jennifer has decided not to seduce me. And I need my sleep!
Kat^Tony: Mike!
* SteveFro sneaks out the back door

McShane: Thank you lovely. (gives Caroline a peck on the cheek)

DrewCarey: Woah, you knocked her over!
* LHall_RVr (as Richard) plays medley of Mike's songs

McShane: Well, what can I say. I've always had a thing for beards.

* Josie notices the stage cracking under mike's fet
DrewCarey: Mike, can you do a quick Bartender song while you're up there?

McShane: And they're good for so many things....but let's not go there. Anyway, thanks for this honour.
McShane: I'd like to Drew, but I have a "Brotherly Love" reunion I have to attend, and then an Air Canada commercial in the morning.
McShane: Thanks again, god bless.

Dani^Ryan: Mike, you rule!
DrewCarey: OK
DrewCarey: Good luck with that

* McShane walks off, and out the door.

Caroline: We now have the 'Hats' Twiglet for Best Hair. Nominees:

Kat^Tony: I have so got the best hair! :o)
JohnSess: Sorry, Colin
* DrewCarey motions for Steve to sit down
DrewCarey: You've come for the best part

Archie Hahn's Ponytail

Kat^Tony: John, you are so gonna get your ass whopped!
JohnSess: OOOOHHH...this coming from Doc Holiday!!!

Josie Lawrence

Karen Maruyama

Colin Mochrie

Josie: woo hoo
* Snarky sneaks in the back

Greg Proops

DrewCarey: COLIN!
Kat^Tony: John SHUT UP!
JohnSess: WHAT!?!?
DrewCarey: YAH-HA

Tony Slattery

Kat^Tony: YAY ME! :op

Richard Vranch

* FrySteen goes over to John Sessions and comforts him
Kat^Tony: Go Richard!
J_Lopez: *sits down beside Tony this time*
LHall_RVr: (as Richard) *bounce*
GregP: hey, there's a mouse with PMS loose in here!
Snarky: Hello!
LHall_RVr: Thanks tony!
* DrewCarey is really thinking Colin'll win this one

Caroline: and the winner is.... COLIN!

Dani^Ryan: Colin!!! Whoooo!!!
DrewCarey: Snarky... the mouse with PMSSSSS
WayneB: congrats colin
FrySteen: YAY Colin
Kat^Tony: GO COLIN!!! (thinks 'Damn, thought I had this one')
Bnkdladie: LOL
* LTaylor plays "Snarky the mouse with PMS!"
DrewCarey: Yay!!!
BreMerton: Is that up for Best Song?
DrewCarey: You got your own!
* GregP applauds Colin

* Mochrie's jaw drops...he picks it up and heads to the stage

Josie: This should be the 'lack of hair' award.....
* LHall_RVr pouts but plays anyway
LTaylor: YAY Colin!!
D_Siegel: yeah Colin!
* DrewCarey applauds
Kat^Tony: Richard, it's ok. We both know we have the best hair!
LHall_RVr: Course we do :)

Mochrie: Uh, thanks for this award....I'm not quite sure how I got it, I mean....

DrewCarey: Hey, Col, maybe you can do that Rogaine endorsement after all ;-)
GregP: Because you have no trouble keeping your hair neat, Colin!
J_Lopez: *runs up and kisses colin's head*
Dani^Ryan: Colin, we love you!!!! ;-)
Josie: you're bald!!

Mochrie: And maybe you can do that Slimfast commercial, Drew!

BreMerton: COLIN!!!
DrewCarey: Hey, there's hope for anyone :-) Just look at Sally Struthers
* Dani^Ryan Dani runs up and kisses Colin, since Jennifer did it, she will too!
* JohnSess runs up to kiss Colin....

Mochrie: Anyway, thanks again.
* Mochrie wends his way back to the seat

Mochrie: John, let me introduce you to Eugene...he's in the corner *Eugene waves sheepishly*
* D_Siegel gives him the biggest smoochie of the night when he gets back to his seat!
* Dani^Ryan Dani smacks John, he's not worthy!

* Clive rides in on a motorbike... or is it a moped?

D_Siegel: moped!
DrewCarey: That depends... what country are you in?
* FrySteen runs up and buffs Clive's head again

Clive: Congratulations Colin, and I only hope this bodes well for me next year... Anyway, back to present our next award is the tall fellow himself in yet another encore appearance. Here's Ryan to show he knows who uses those small objects best.

* DrewCarey gives a standing ovation
BreMerton: YAY RYAN!!!

(the applause dies down but the stage remains empty. Dan's voice is heard over the speakers - "Clive - he just snuck out the back!")

* Clive returns
Clive: Ah, well, it seems the tall fellow didn't make it under the door, so here to sing the nominations to you is Wayne Brady.

Kat^Tony: YAY WAYNE! :o)
* LHall_RVr plays medley of Wayne's songs

* WayneB walks up on stage
WayneB: this is the The Still Untitled Twiglet for Best Prop Use. And the nominees are:

Colin Mochrie for "Hey giant, stop peeing on the alps!" (yellow triangle)

* RStiles sneaks back in
Kat^Tony: GO COLIN!
BreMerton: YEAH!

Ryan Stiles for "Now, son, I know it's hard, but please remember where you buried your mother in the sand!" (two bumps)

Kat^Tony: YAY RYAN!!

Colin Mochrie, Wayne Brady & Brad Sherwood for "Push, Mrs Johnson" (circles)

* Mochrie happily reminisces about that lovely yellow triangle
* FrySteen just gave Brad his award on the MB

Tony Slattery for "Shirley Bassey, put your clothes on!" (mop)

Kat^Tony: YEA ME!!
Josie: yay tony!

Colin Mochrie for "Some people are embarrassed by an outie!" (circle)

Kat^Tony: YAY COLIN!

Tony Slattery for "Welcome to the portable easy gym!" (washing line)


and Ryan Stiles for "Your elephant's got a temperature of 106..." (crayon)

JohnSess: *cough*John Sessions for 'Breaking The Prop"*cough*
Kat^Tony: YEA RYAN!!
RStiles: Go me!

WayneB: the envolope please.....

* LHall_RVr wonders where her guitar accompaniment got to...
J_Lopez: *passes wayne the envelope*
Kat^Tony: John, hush up
Josie: I play a pretty mean guitar, Laura
JohnSess: hmph
J_Lopez: *smiles prettily*

WayneB: and the winner for the best prop use is.......

LHall_RVr: Cool, can you play the sax too?
Josie: of course, but not at the same time

WayneB: Colin Mochrie for "Hey giant, stop peeing on the alps!" (yellow triangle)

EnnReitel: Woohoo!
J_Lopez: *cheers for Colin and loves being on stage*
Kat^Tony: YEA COLIN!!! Go Colin, Go Colin!
D_Siegel: yeah Colin!
Snarky: woo hoo Colin!!
* Kat^Tony stops Tony from dancing on the table for Colin
RStiles: she'll be back soon..

* Mochrie walks to the stage
* WayneB hands colin the twiglet and reminds him not to eat it if he remembers last year

* RStiles gives a standing ovation!!
J_Lopez: *stays on stage*
Chip: *claps for Colin, but has to leave now!*
* Josie can't see because I'm sitting behind Ryan's standing ovation
* BreMerton doesn't...
DrewCarey: That's a million points for staying around for so long
Chip: Goodnight! *sings a lullabye to himself and falls asleep*
* Chip exits

Mochrie: Thank you all for this award. I'd like to thank you all. The giant sends his warmest regards. *points at Ryan in the audience* There he is now.

Kat^Tony: *whistles for Colin*
Kat^Tony: *sits down, Kat sits on Tonys lap to keep him from hurting John*
GregP: are we into commercial?
FrySteen: *as Stephen Fry* Drew me collegue shut your face
J_Lopez: *stays on stage*
Bnkdladie: There are commercials?
DrewCarey: I guess we must be
Caroline: i'm gonna leave early and take care of the baby, thank you for the award!
* Caroline leaves

* Mochrie goes back to his seat
* Clive flies in near the roof
* Clive lands

DrewCarey: TWIGLETS: They'll make you never want to eat again!
Kat^Tony: YAY CLIVE!
Josie: OUCH, you landed on me Clive

Clive: And so, to present our next award. He's the man who took my job, and needs no introduction. So I'm not giving him one.

* DrewCarey applauds some more, but gets worried at the number of people leaving
* D_Siegel leans over to talk to Col softly
J_Lopez: *is still on stage*
BreMerton: BOO!
* Mochrie has a nice conversation with Denny
Josie: Who's the fat guy on stage?

Clive: Oh okay, Drew, get your lazy...

* LHall_RVr plays Drew onstage
FrySteen: Drew it's your turn

DrewCarey: Oh, wait, they're leaving because it's my turn. ok
* DrewCarey hops onto the stage and falls off
DrewCarey: oof!
* DrewCarey gets back onto the stage

FrySteen: Boooooooo
J_Lopez: *goes over and stands by drew*
J_Lopez: *still smiling*

DrewCarey: c'mon, gimme a break...

J_Lopez: *on stage*
BreMerton: yeah Drew, we broke all your Twiglet statues

DrewCarey: All right, if I recall, the category was Best Put-Down

FrySteen: Okay let's shut up and let the guy talk
Kat^Tony: Ha! Drew can't even stand on stage!
JohnSess: Welcome to MY world.
Josie: Get the hook!
* D_Siegel whispers to Colin "Is that Drew's new girlfriend or what?"
* BreMerton takes Jennifer for himself!

* DrewCarey breaks into a sweat
DrewCarey: I hate improv...

J_Lopez: *gets pulled off stage by paul*

DrewCarey: no, no, don't go

BreMerton: I've got her now! Take that, Caroline!
* KathyKinn enters

DrewCarey: Stop it! Oh no, Mimi's back!

J_Lopez: I'm not some rebound person!
* KathyKinn runs to the stage and helps out Drew

DrewCarey: This is like a nightmare!

BreMerton: I've had plenty of those. This is serious!
* LHall_RVr plays snippet of "Cleveland Rocks!"
J_Lopez: then again, who cares :) *smiles at Paul*
Josie: Who's does your make up, mimi?
* RStiles dances
KathyKinn: Shut up, miss hair down to there :)

DrewCarey: Hey Clive, I could use some help here... Some nominations, perhaps? ...
KathyKinn: Oh no neck
DrewCarey: Wait, Kathy, you can help me
* DrewCarey hides behind Kathy
KathyKinn: No that's the Criminologist from Rocky Horror

GregP: No, i'm over here

* KathyKinn moves away
DrewCarey: I guess we're back to the technical difficulty thing again...

Josie: I'm blinded by Kathy's eye shadow!
Kat^Tony: *both fall asleep*
J_Lopez: *runs up an stage and dances and sings*
D_Siegel: It's Y2K!

Clive: hmm.. well I've just sent them in 3 different envelopes... Damn US mail.
DrewCarey: Figures, doesn't it?
KathyKinn: I can see Craig Ferguson in the audience (sticks out tongue)
DrewCarey: Well, now that both hosts are on stage...

J_Lopez: if you had my love .....
* LHall_RVr switches to Jennifer's song
* KathyKinn pushes J-Lopes off stage
Kat^Tony: *wake up* What the heck is going on? :o)
J_Lopez: *falls and lands on her butt but bounces off of it*
* LHall_RVr switches back to "Cleveland Rocks!"
J_Lopez: OW!

DrewCarey: ok, here we go. THE NOMINATIONS ARE!!!, for the Greg Proops "Best Putdown" Twiglet:

* GregP smirks
* Mochrie is hearing a chirping sound, but can't figure out where it's coming from.....wait a minute.....*puts tie to his ear*

Clive Anderson for "Can you not use large words - they're confusing our American friends."

* D_Siegel goes over to flirt with Greg, because no one else seems to care
Josie: Go CLIVE!!
J_Lopez: Where' s Paul?
GregP: that's why Americans can't get along without spell-check

Colin Mochrie for "Don't cry. You're not that good an actor."

Colin Mochrie for "He had a face like a collapsed lung."

RStiles: Go Colin!

Greg Proops for "Hi, I have my own ABC sitcom... Lewis! Lewis!"

Paul Merton for "Is that your head or is your neck blowing bubbles?"

* D_Siegel gives Greg a smoochie for being nominated!
Josie: clive clivE cliVE clIVE cLIVE CLIVE!!!! woo hoo
* BreMerton cheers for himself
GregP: why thank you, Denny

Clive Anderson for "I've had a lot of practice with this finger."

J_Lopez: *gives paul a smooch just for the heck of it*
Josie: go BRITS
Kat^Tony: Go Clive!!

Colin Mochrie for "I've never seen anyone do sound effects as good as that!"

* BreMerton smooches Jennifer
* KathyKinn walks off stage and hurls

Greg Proops for "Who are you listening to? A JAM SHORTAGE???!!!"

DrewCarey: And finally...

KathyKinn: Oh no, Paul and Jennifer are making out
* LHall_RVr (as Richard) wonders why no one's smooched him yet...

Greg Proops and Clive Anderson for "When's it gonna end, huh? The agression." "When you give us our colonies back."

Kat^Tony: (as Kat) *runs over and kisses Richard*
* KathyKinn goes over and smooches Richard
JohnSess: How about "John's an ___________" always said behind my back !??
LHall_RVr: *grins*
Kat^Tony: Sorry Tony, I had too he looked sad
RStiles: *psst* Colin! John's an _________!

DrewCarey: AND THE WINNER IS: Colin Mochrie for "Don't cry. You're not that good an actor."!

J_Lopez: *still kissing paul*
KathyKinn: *whispers* Hey Drew, John's a *BLEEP*
Mochrie: *psst* I knew it all the time
Kat^Tony: LoL
KathyKinn: YAY!!!

* Mochrie walks to the stage, smiling broadly.

J_Lopez: awww muffin! *sad that paul didn't win*
RStiles: Yay Colin!! *smooches Colin* Whoops...sorry Colin! I know..not in public..
* KathyKinn hugs Mochrie
Kat^Tony: YAY COLIN!
BreMerton: BAAAH!
* DrewCarey gives the Twiglet a long look before handing it over to Colin
D_Siegel: Yeah Col!
DrewCarey: Ok, let's hear a SHORT speech, Colin
DrewCarey: Okay, time's up

Mochrie: Thanks again for this award.

DrewCarey: Moving on....
KathyKinn: DREW, let the guy talk

Mochrie: Frankly, I'm surprised I said what I did.

DrewCarey: hahah
DrewCarey: fine, say something then

Mochrie: Drew, why don't you keep Eugene company, the poor guys all alone at the back
Mochrie: (Eugene winks at Drew)

J_Lopez: lol
DrewCarey: I can't I have to give the next award
DrewCarey: That kiss was crap!
J_Lopez: I will give the next award!!!!!!!
* D_Siegel thinks about talking to Eugene, but then remembers . . .

Mochrie: Anyway, thanks again for this Twiglet, it's such an honour!
* Mochrie walks back to his seat, high-fiving Ryan on the way

DrewCarey: ANYWAY, for the Audience-Suggested Twiglet for Best Whose-Line Line... the nominees are:

* RStiles winks at Colin
J_Lopez: awww *pouty*

"Always keep a jellyfish in your handbag."

"Bad sneakers and a pinata, my friend."

Kat^Tony: YAY!!!

"Dip it in gin and reduce the swelling."

"Does it usually throb like that?"

J_Lopez: *looks at paul*
J_Lopez: *pouty*
GregP: So who gets this award, the audience?

"Lick my earlobe and call me mama!"

Josie: MAMA!!!
D_Siegel: I'll take it! =)
BreMerton: Eugene gets to come up
Kat^Tony: I just know that Drew or John do not get it
Mochrie: I assume the person who said the line
J_Lopez: I'll take it too!
Kat^Tony: Maybe Dan should get it

"You must dance for me while I name some vegetables!"

J_Lopez: paul!!!!! *pouty*
BreMerton: YEAH!!!

"You think more of that damn monkey than you do of me!"

J_Lopez: woohoo!

And finally, "Will you marry me?"

D_Siegel: come on! Let me take it!
J_Lopez: no me!

DrewCarey: The envelope please

* RStiles runs on-stage and grabs the award before anyone else does!!
D_Siegel: I'm actually *on* the show!
* LHall_RVr piano rolls
J_Lopez: so?
D_Siegel: :P
J_Lopez: i'm prettier and have a nicer butt!
Kat^Tony: I was on the show.....once......Yo Dan! You think I can get on the new version yet?

Dan_P: (prepares to walk up)

DrewCarey: Okay... it says here I will have good luck for a month! Sweet! Oh wait, that's a fortune cookie... The winner is: "You must dance for me while I name some vegetables!"

* KathyKinn slaps J_Lopez around a bit and drags her off the stage and plops her into Paul's arms
Kat^Tony: YAY!!!
* RStiles bites the Twiglet
* Josie starts playing "stairway to heaven" on the guitar

* D_Siegel runs up on stage!
Dan_P: Thankyou everybody.

* DrewCarey doesn't know what to do with the award, so he throws it into the audience
* JohnSess catches it
BreMerton: YEAH!!!
DrewCarey: You guys can fight for it
* LHall_RVr chimes in with the harmony
Kat^Tony: I caught it!

Dan_P: All I can say is that we will be endeavouring to pick more surreal audience suggestions in the future.

* DrewCarey resumes his seat
* Mochrie calls security.
DrewCarey: Thank you
Kat^Tony: Nice try John!
Bnkdladie Steven: Ow! That award hit me!
* EnnReitel must fade into obscurity yet again..
* EnnReitel departs

Dan_P: And we'll try and use more fruit-and-vegetable related products as well.
D_Siegel: and May I just thank the whosers! for with out whom, this award would be!

Kat^Tony: (as Tony) Bring it on John!
BreMerton: Cucumber, Tomato, Aubergine...
J_Lopez: NO! * but gets pulled back by paul*
DrewCarey: Good choice, Dan
JohnSess: Any time , Tony

* Clive bounces in on strategically placed trampolines

Kat^Tony: After the show
Kat^Tony: Gooooooooo CLIVE!
* Josie starts singing the macarena

Clive: And now, here with some of those great lines and moments from the show, is the man who created many of them. If it's an animal you're looking for, here's Colin Mochrie instead.

* LHall_RVr refuses to play the macarena
J_Lopez: *starts dancing for Paul*
Kat^Tony: Woo!!
Josie: do a dinosaur!!

* Mochrie Dinosaur walks up to the stage, and waits for the cheers

Josie: woo hoo
Kat^Tony: GO COLIN!
* DrewCarey cheers
* RStiles cheers!
J_Lopez: *cheers*
* GregP hears the roar of Whoser cheers from the crowd
* LHall_RVr plays hoedown music just for Colin

Mochrie: Well, friends, it's time to move on to The Whose Twiglet for the Funniest Line.

* D_Siegel cheers and chants "hoe-down, hoe- down"
Kat^Tony: Oh and John, could you stop touching Tony, he doesn't like it :op
BreMerton: wow, only 2.5 hours!
JohnSess: That's HIS job
DrewCarey: not bad... but let's finish
J_Lopez: are you ignoring me now Paul?
BreMerton: no Jennifer babe...
RStiles: this is as long as an ACTUAL award show!

Mochrie: After 10 years, you get your fair share of funny lines, most of which don't make it to air. Thank god my wife doesn't know some of the things....aaaanyway... Here are the nominees for Funniest Line on Whose Line.....

"Are you my mommy... if I had a nickel for every time I heard that" (Drew)

* DrewCarey cheers, "GO COLIN!"

"Hey, who invited the chicks?" (Greg)

"Is it OK if I scream my own name?" (Ryan)

RStiles: it?

"I love it when you use me as a split-screen montage!" (Mike)

"I want to take all the holes in you and seal them over... etc." (Greg)

"Kiss me like you've never kissed an anchor before!" (Colin)

"One of us might not come back alive." "I hope it's you!" (Ryan/Colin)

"Pardon?" (Steve Steen as Beethoven)

"Wait! Someone's coming in my ear..." (Greg)

"What are you doing with that squeezie bottle?" (Paul)

"You're made of wood! You can float-a like a boat-a!" (Ryan as Gepetto)

* D_Siegel shows Dan some skin and hopes for a reaction

Mochrie: And the winner of this prestigious Twiglet is....*tears open envelope and peers at contents* "If you wanna see your pet iguana alive again, send me...." Whoops, wrong envelope. *tears open proper envelope* The winner is .... "One of us might not come back alive." "I hope it's you!" (Ryan/Colin)

D_Siegel: *g*
Kat^Tony: YAY!
RStiles: YAY!
D_Siegel: yeah!

* RStiles runs onstage

DrewCarey: Hurrah

Mochrie: Come on up here, buddy!

DrewCarey: Wow, he's fast
J_Lopez: yay!
DrewCarey: he's already there!
KathyKinn: Yay Ryan
Kat^Tony: *both yawn*

* RStiles hugs Colin!
* Mochrie high fives Ryan and gives him his Twiget award
RStiles: Yes!!

BreMerton: YEAH RYAN!
DrewCarey: Tony, have you even gotten one award yet tonight?
Kat^Tony: Nope

Mochrie: Wanna say a few words, Ry?
RStiles: Thank you everyone ;o)

Kat^Tony: Even John got one
J_Lopez: *is getting sleepy but can still hang on*

RStiles: I've always had a question..
Mochrie: There we have it, a man of few words!
RStiles: Did you really mean that? *sniffs*

D_Siegel: *sniff* John got one and not me?
Kat^Tony: And I mean Tony is the best and he didn't win anything this year! :o)
KathyKinn: I didn't get any :)

Mochrie: Of course not Bud! I meant it in the nicest possible way :)
* RStiles runs offstage crying!!

Kat^Tony: (as Tony) aww thanks sweetie

Kat^Tony: Awww Ryan!
KathyKinn: Oh Ryan

* RStiles grabs a bottle of champagne and leaves
Mochrie: Anyway, while Ryan bawls his eyes out, lets move on to our next category, The "Oh Ha! Ha!" Twiglet for the Funniest Moment.

Kat^Tony: YAY!
BreMerton: YEAH!
* JohnSess gets ready to accept the next award
DrewCarey: hahaha
J_Lopez: lol
Kat^Tony: Yea right John!
* DrewCarey buzzes John

Mochrie: Who knows what the funniest moment will be? No one! So why don't you read the nominations...okay...

* D_Siegel pushes John back in his seat

Mochrie: The nominees are...

* KathyKinn grabs the buzzer from DrewCarey
DrewCarey: You stop that!

Colin's "you are all insane" look (Colin Hoedown)

* DrewCarey takes it back

Colin realises he's having Clive's lovechild (Press Conference)

D_Siegel: Yah!
* Kat^Tony (as Kat) sits on Tony and holds his mouth shut so he can't diss John :o)

Greg & Caroline touch each other up in ballet (F&TS)

Greg & Ryan kiss (Dead Bodies)

J_Lopez: ewwwwwwwwwww
JohnSess: Oh...let him go Kat.
J_Lopez: lol

Ryan as an expert on taxidermy (Expert)

Tony splits his pants (Film Trailer)

Kat^Tony: Why wanna fight him John?
Kat^Tony:GO ME!!

Tony's "F*** OFF!!!" (Party Quirks)

Kat^Tony: GO ME AGAIN! :op
DrewCarey: Didn't that win last year?
Kat^Tony: Nope
GregP: no, Tony realizing rory was imitating him did
WayneB: it won for something else
J_Lopez: no
DrewCarey: ok
DrewCarey: I wish I had seen these moments :-)
J_Lopez: have you won anything yet paul?

Mochrie: And the winner is....*opens envelope and a piercing woman's shriek is heard....he shrugs and removes the contents

Kat^Tony: LoL
DrewCarey: I'm an expert on DL... as you can guess

Mochrie: The linner of de big prize, bwana is.... Tony's "F*** OFF!!!" (Party Quirks)

BreMerton: YEA!!!

Mochrie: Come on up here, Tony!

DrewCarey: I knew it ... hehe
Kat^Tony: YES GO ME!!!
KathyKinn: TONY!!!
J_Lopez: yay!
GregP: Yay! tony wins an award!

Kat^Tony: *Runs up to the stage and strips*

* JohnSess tackles Tony

Mochrie: Who knew! The shriek must have been an omen!

DrewCarey: Wow
* WayneB looks away
LHall_RVr: plays "Male Stripper" for Tony

* Mochrie hands Tony his glittery twiglet and shakes his hand.
Kat^Tony: Thank you so much for this award. I never knew what my swearing could get me

* DrewCarey covers his eyes

Kat^Tony: And BTW, I told you guys, I was *BETTER* then you all :op
* Mochrie hands Tony his handkerchief, he may need it.

DrewCarey: Hey Tony, 1 to 4 awards... WOW

Kat^Tony: So once again Thanks! And I will see you all next year

DrewCarey: But of course

Kat^Tony: John, go away I do not want you! :o)
* Clive walks out amidst fireworks going off in all directions

WayneB: john just go away
* DrewCarey holds his head and moans
Kat^Tony: *goes back and sits down with Kat*

Clive: And to present our next award, it's time to leave the comfort of the Whose Line Arena.

Kat^Tony: GO CLIVE!
KathyKinn: My hair is on fire
* Mochrie wends his way back to his seat

Clive: Yes, they'll be performing later on with Richard, Laura and Linda at the after-show party, but ladies and gentlemen, to present these awards, please welcome the BARENAKED LADIES!

* Mochrie leads the standing ovation
KathyKinn: Whoo hoo
* DrewCarey whips out his camera
DrewCarey: woops, that's not my camera
Mochrie: *Eugene sits in the corner, tapping away...*
* Kat^Tony smooches Tony! 'see honey you won a twiglet!' :o)
J_Lopez: arena?
* D_Siegel leans over whispers to Col that he did a good job

* Bnkdladie walks onto the stage

* LHall_RVr plays BNL medley
J_Lopez: ah! Why not me?!!
DrewCarey: "BNL Medley"?
J_Lopez: Paul? Console me!
Clive: You can perform afterwards too :) In my hotel suite, if you like...
Kat^Tony: :o)
LHall_RVr: Sure, a medley of their best-known songs
DrewCarey: uh oh, the testosterone is shooting out of Clive's head...

Bnkdladie Ed: Hi all! We are the Barenaked Ladies!
Bnkdladie Steve: BNL Medley? Huh? anyway, this is the Compilated Award For The Best Individual Game.

Bnkdladie Jim: And the Nominees are....

Bnkdladie Tyler: Expert Translation - Volvos (Paul/Josie)

Kat^Tony: Drew, you're just jealous
DrewCarey: ...that I'm not bald?
DrewCarey: But I AM A MACHO MAN!
J_Lopez: ew
* DrewCarey reminds everyone that he's still wearing leather pants
KathyKinn: ewww
Kat^Tony: That you can't get a woman!
KathyKinn: And they just split

Bnkdladie Ed: Film & Theater Styles Top Gun Pilot (Greg/Steve)

WayneB: no you aren't drew
Kat^Tony: (as Tony) I am the only MAN here
GregP: except for all the other men
J_Lopez: *goes and visits Greg P*

Bnkdladie Steve: Foreign Film Dub "Farewell My Porcupine" (Tony/Ryan/Colin/Steve)

Kat^Tony: YAY!
Kat^Tony: No, drew, NO!
KathyKinn: Oh yeah or bye bye Twiglet
DrewCarey: what? what?

Bnkdladie Tyler: Home Shopping - keys to no door, lin, old asparagus (Ryan/Colin)

* D_Siegel askes Wayne what he's doing afterwards =)
WayneB: sleeping
DrewCarey: I love the village people, they give me confidence, I know I'm not good looking, but I am rather dense.
DrewCarey: I have a fat white body, and I don't have a tan,
DrewCarey: but when I put on leather pants...
DrewCarey: I AM A MACHO MAN!
D_Siegel: don't say it!
DrewCarey: haha too slow. If that's not the best hodown then it's very wrong
* DrewCarey just realized it's way past his bedtime :-)
DrewCarey: I gotta go... Enjoy the rest of the awards, folks...
D_Siegel: he said it! *groan*

Bnkdladie Jim: Let's Make A Date Clinton, Army Ants, Masochist (Greg/Colin/Wayne/Ryan)

J_Lopez: ewwwww (drew in leather pants)
J_Lopez: should I dance?
J_Lopez: if you had my love....

Bnkdladie Ed: Party Quirks Penis/Goalie/Baby Learning To Walk (Tony/Josie.Steve/Ryan)

* D_Siegel goes over to Colin, and asks if he has a date for the post-award party =)
Kat^Tony: YAY!!

Bnkdladie Kevin: Press Conference Having Clive's Love Child (Colin)

J_Lopez: yay!
WayneB: where is the post award party?
D_Siegel: That'll win! =)
Kat^Tony: Isn't it in #wliia?

Bnkdladie Ed: World's Worst Person To Visit You In The Hospital(Ron/Ryan)

J_Lopez: ya, where is it? should I sing at it?
Clive: please do :)
DrewCarey: Good luck to you all. If I get another award, send it to my Hollywood suite

Bnkdladie All: And the winner is *opens envelope*

* DrewCarey waits to hear the winner before leaving ...
J_Lopez: *dancing*

Bnkdladie Ed: Press Conference Havig Clive's Love Child!
Bnkdladie Steve: Come on up here Colin!!

DrewCarey: haha ... see ya
* DrewCarey exits
* Mochrie prepares a package to mail Drew's award - "Drew Carey's Hollywood Suite, 2000 Hollywood Place, Nome, Alaska, 98081"
Kat^Tony: YAY COLIN!!!!
J_Lopez: yay!
GregP: That one was my favorite.
Kat^Tony: Aww don't cry Tony, at least you got one twiglet this year *kisses*
J_Lopez: *needs attention*
D_Siegel: yeah Colin!

Bnkdladie Tyler: Colin? You there man?
Bnkdladie Ed: Colin! Do you want this? *holds up Twiglet*

Kat^Tony: *are waiting for Colin*
J_Lopez: I'll accept it!
J_Lopez: *runs up on stage*
* GregP has a flashback to the Golden Globes an an award-winner in the restroom ...

Bnkdladie Tyler: runs up to greet Jen*
J_Lopez: *kisses Tyler on cheek*
J_Lopez: I'd like to accept this award on Colin's behalf ... wherever he is
Bnkdladie Tyler: grabs Jen and snogs her on the lips*
Mochrie: Wait...what just happened here...
* Mochrie bounds up to the stage
Bnkdladie Steven: You rock Colin!
J_Lopez: hey! I was accepting that for you!
Mochrie: Well, what can I say. I admit it! I had Clive's love child!
Clive: Ah, I remember it well...
Mochrie: But little Anthony Mochrie-Anderson is doing just fine.
Clive: Glad to hear... when can I see him, Colin...?
Mochrie: Next year Clive, I promise.
Clive: Ok...

GregP: Hey colin, does it have a neck?
J_Lopez: did he buzz you out when you were done?
KathyKinn: My eyes

* Mochrie heads back to his seat.
Bnkdladie Ed: Now, here's the next award: The Bartender Award for the best Song

Kat^Tony: *are waiting for the show to end to have their wedding in Vegas and we invited Brad!*

Bnkdladie Kevin: And the nominees are!....
Bnkdladie Steven: Bartender - Queen Roy's Garden Party (Ryan/Mike)

Kat^Tony: YAY!

Bnkdladie Ed: Duet - Cat Litter Tray (Josie/Mike)

Kat^Tony: YAY!

Bnkdladie Jim: hoedown - Colin Mochrie (Greg/Phil/Colin/Ryan)

Kat^Tony: YAY!

Bnkdladie Tyler: Hoedown - Going Bald ( Brad/Drew/Colin/Ryan)

Kat^Tony: YAY!
J_Lopez: woohooo!!!!!!! That will win!
D_Siegel: Yes! ITA!

Bnkdladie Kevin: Psychiatrist - Armidillos (Josie/Colin)

Kat^Tony: Go 'Colin Hoedown'!
GregP: it deserves it! But so does the Colin one
Kat^Tony: YAY!
* Mochrie wipes his sweaty palms....

Bnkdladie Steven: Rock Opera - Carpentry (Josie/Mike/Tony/Paul)

Kat^Tony: YAY It's me!
KathyKinn: Yay, Josie

Bnkdladie Ed: Song Styles - Barry White To Ashley the astronomy student (Wayne)

Kat^Tony: YAY!!!!!!!!
J_Lopez: woohoo!
Mochrie: This is going to be a close one.

Bnkdladie Jim: Song Styles - Rock Love Ballad to Nuroshi (Brad)

KathyKinn: ASH!!!
Kat^Tony: YAY!!!!
* GregP flips a coin between the two Hoedowns ... it lands on its edge ...

Bnkdladie Ed: And the winner is......Tyler, Drum roll....

KathyKinn: BRAD
JohnSess: What happened to anything by me??
KathyKinn: I'll post on Brad's board if he wins
Kat^Tony: John go back to sleep
Mochrie: John: they don't constitute as songs....
D_Siegel: it got lost in the translation, John
* KathyKinn slips John a Micky

Bnkdladie Tyler * Drum rolls on the podium*
Bnkdladie Ed: Hoedown- going Bald!!

JohnSess: Thank God!!
Kat^Tony: YAY!!!!!!!
* LHall_RVr plays instrumental version of Going Bald Hoedown
D_Siegel: YEAH!
GregP: *applauds* that one was BRILLIANT

* Mochrie rolls his eyes as he heads to the stage

J_Lopez: yay!
GregP: Go on, Colin, accept that award. You made it funny!

Mochrie: Laura....that's EVERY hoedown. :)

RStiles: Woohoo Colin!!
LHall_RVr: Ah, but there are variations :)
KathyKinn: YAY, Colin

Mochrie: Yeah, yeah, first "best hair" and now winning for the "Going Bald" hoedown....
Mochrie: Everyone enjoys making a Mochrie of me.

J_Lopez: hey they tolerate you, they really do!
Clive: they really really really do...

Mochrie: But then, who am I to complain, when I'm surrounded by great people like you.

J_Lopez: awwwwwwwwww
Kat^Tony: Awww GO COLIN!
D_Siegel: (((((((((Colin))))))))))
JohnSess: Even me?
KathyKinn: aww, Colin
J_Lopez: *doesn't think he's including her*
Bnkdladie Ed *Hugs Colin* you rock man!
RStiles: I love you man!!

Mochrie: Thank you all. This means a lot to me and my, or what's left of it.

GregP: At least you can lord your sex life over Brad and Drew, Colin!

* Clive rollerblades down the ramp to the podium.
Clive: And so, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the big awards of the night.

Kat^Tony: You are too cool Clive!
KathyKinn: Oh cool
WayneB: (drumroll)

Clive: These awards are so important that they could only be presented by someone of distinction. Someone with great charm, huge intelligence, and much modesty. So here are the nominations.

Mochrie: Come on Clive. You give the awards! Make little Anthony Mochrie-Anderson proud!
Kat^Tony: LoL, YAY CLIVE!
D_Siegel: *groan*

Clive: The nominations for the Replay Twiglet for Best Game are:

Film & Theatre Styles


Home Shopping

Let's Make A Date

Scenes From A Hat


And World's Worst

Clive: And the winner is...

J_Lopez: woohoo!
WayneB: (drumroll)

Clive: (hand me the envelope, Dan....)
Clive: "Drew Carey's Hollywood Suite, 2000 Hollywood Place, Nome, Alaska, 98081"
Clive: (Dan, wrong envelope!)

WayneB: lol
KathyKinn: :)
Kat^Tony: :o)
J_Lopez: lol

Clive: The winner is... Scenes From A Hat!

Kat^Tony: YAY!!!!!!!
J_Lopez: yay!
D_Siegel: YEAH!
KathyKinn: YAY!!!!!
* KathyKinn stand up
WayneB: YAY!!!!!
Kat^Tony: I always liked that game
Mochrie: *Eugene wonders if he can fit in that other Envelope*
* LHall_RVr pauses in playing long enough to applaud

Dan_P: walks up
Dan_P: Thankyou.... we'll be playing that game a lot more in the future. Even if it does waste my entire weekend thinking up suggestions, and then there's my wife who's thinking about getting a div... anyway thanks!

J_Lopez: awwwwww
WayneB: lol

Clive: Thankyou Dan, and hope the settlement works out.

J_Lopez: oh well :)
KathyKinn: awww
Kat^Tony: Do you need a new wife Dan (as Kat)?? :o)
Kat^Tony: (as Tony) HEY!

Clive: And now the big award for the evening. The Golden Twiglet. The winner of this is also inducted into the Hall of Fame, where they will join such luminaries as... well, Ryan Stiles.

* LHall_RVr pounds out swelling orchestral-style music

Clive: The nominees are....

Wayne Brady.

Michael 'Mike' McShane.

Paul Merton.

Colin Mochrie.

And Gregory Proops.

D_Siegel: go Wayne!
J_Lopez: iwoohoo!
Kat^Tony: YAY!!!!
D_Siegel: go Colin!
D_Siegel: go Greg!
KathyKinn: YAY, Greg

Clive: And the winner is.......................................................
Clive: .....
WayneB: (drumroll)
Clive: .....
Clive: ....

* Mochrie waits with baited breath....Eugene, get that fishing rod away from me!
J_Lopez: oohhh

Clive: Enough dramatic tension!

* Mochrie sweats


WayneB: YAY!!!!!
J_Lopez: yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KathyKinn: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WayneB: YAY!!!!!

* Mochrie walks up to the stage

Kat^Tony: YAY!!!! GO COLIN!!!!
* LHall_RVr (standing ovation)
D_Siegel: Yeah! *biggest smoochie for Colin ever!*
RStiles: COLIN!
J_Lopez: *standing ovation*
* KathyKinn standing Ovation
* WayneB stands and claps

Mochrie: I .... I .... *pulls a Colin and faints*

J_Lopez: *bigger smoochie than dennie's for colin*
WayneB: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J_Lopez: mouth to mouth?
* KathyKinn revives Colin

* Mochrie gets up

* RStiles wipes a tear away
Kat^Tony: *Claps, whistles, stands, anything for Colin*

Mochrie: Oh, I don't know what to say! You Tolerate Me! You really tolerate me!!

* JohnSess reluctantly goes and shakes Colin's hand
* D_Siegel Cheers, and jumps up and down!
Kat^Tony: LoL
J_Lopez: yay!
Kat^Tony: YAY!!!
KathyKinn: :)

Mochrie: I'd like to thank you all. Dan for giving me the opportunity...and promptly dismissing me my first time...
Mochrie: Clive, whose shiny head inspired me....

Clive: anytime, Colin :)
J_Lopez: awwwwwwww

Mochrie: Greg, who I have yet to return this bird tie to...

GregP: that's ok, Colin, it really doesn't match my suits...

Mochrie: But most of all, I have to thank my friend...of twenty-odd years....*sniff*...Ryan Stiles.

Kat^Tony: AWWWW!

Mochrie: I mean, without him, I wouldn't have had a second chance.

KathyKinn: Awwww

Mochrie: This award isn't just for me. Come on up here Ryan. This one's for you too.
* Clive walks back to the podium
Mochrie: Dang....Ryan didn't join me on stage. :(
RStiles: I'm sorry! I missed that!
* RStiles runs on stage quickly
Clive: That brings us to the end of the ceremony... and I'll see you all when I boogie down at the after show party!
* RStiles jumps on Colin

Clive: This is me, Clive Anderson, saying goodnight. GOOD NIGHT! :)

Kat^Tony: Finally, ok let's go Tony, the chapels waiting! Night all *grabs Tony before he can beat up John*
Clive: And now some music from Jennifer Lopez and the Barenaked Ladies!
Bnkdladie Ed: You got it!
RStiles: Good Job Colin! ;o)
Bnkdladie: We're off to the wrap party for food!
* LHall_RVr plays closing credit music
* Eugene sits at the back of the room.....clapping, as the room completely empties