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Mark's Guide to Whose Line is it Anyway?


1998 Twiglet Results


1. The Paul Merton 'Best Smile' Twiglet - Winner: Josie Lawrence
 
Josie Lawrence
31 votes
26.3 %
Paul Merton
9 votes
7.6 %
Colin Mochrie
30 votes
25.4 %
John Sessions
3 votes
2.6 %
Tony Slattery
19 votes
16.1 %
Ryan Stiles
26 votes
22.0 %


2. The Peter Cook Twiglet for Best Cigarette Use - Winner: Ryan Stiless (Helping Hands - lounge singer)
 
Peter Cook (Panel)
5 votes
4.3 %
Tony Slattery (Jail Scene)
37 votes
31.6 %
Ryan Stiles (Helping Hands - lounge singer)
38 votes
32.5 %
Ryan Stiles (Mission Impossible - lookout)
37 votes
31.6 %


3. The Mike McShane Twiglet for Best Kiss - Winner: Mike McShane for "Party Quirks - kissogram"
 
Mike McShane and Tony Slattery for "Bits that Went Wrong"
26 votes
22.8 %
Mike McShane for "Party Quirks - kissogram"
27 votes
23.8 %
Mike McShane and Brad Sherwood for "Questions Only"
24 votes
21.0 %
Mike McShane and Steve Steen for "Scenes From A Hat - Kissogram with Bad News"
11 votes
9.6 %
Rory Bremner and Colin Mochrie for "World's Worst"
26 votes
22.8 %


4. The Greg Proops Twiglet for Best Put Down - Winner: Paul Merton for "No luck then?"
 
 
Clive Anderson for "It's obvious that junk man would just turn it into American TV"
2 votes
1.7 %
Colin Mochrie for "YOU BIG TALL GOOF! Somebody check his visa! He's here illegally! He told me!"
22 votes
18.6 %
Greg Proops for "And whenever I say 'Naff Git', that means Clive."
14 votes
11.9 %
Greg Proops for "It's come as a Greg Proops joke party. Ocelot! Ocelot! God you're bald Clive!"
9 votes
7.6 %
Greg Proops for "Get your bald English candy ass back in the house!... I got my opinion is what I got!"
6 votes
5.1 %
Greg Proops for "Maybe you're confusing this with your other show where you just talk talk talk and never let anybody else!"
14 votes
11.9 %
Paul Merton for "Is that your head or is your neck blowing bubbles?"
16 votes
13.5 %
Paul Merton for "No luck then?" (to Josie at a weight-watcher's reunion)
35 votes
29.7 %


5. The Denise Simmons Best Costume Twiglet - Winner: Ryan Stiles for "Neon Love Chicken Shirt"
 
Colin Mochrie for "Bird Tie"
21 votes
17.6 %
Greg Proops for "Cow Vest"
22 votes
18.5 %
Steve Frost for "Hawaiian Shirt"
6 votes
5.1 %
Colin Mochrie for "Lime Jacket"
15 votes
12.6 %
Ryan Stiles for "Neon Love Chicken Shirt"
43 votes
36.1 %
Tony Slattery for "Red and Black Plaid Pants"
12 votes
10.1 %


6. The Rebecca Allen Worst Costume Twiglet - Winner: Debi Durst for "Baseball Outfit"
 
Debi Durst for "Baseball Outfit"
46 votes
40.0 %
Colin Mochrie for "Bird Tie"
1 vote
0.9 %
Tony Slattery for "Leather Jacket"
13 votes
11.3 %
Colin Mochrie for "Lime Jacket"
5 votes
4.4 %
Tony Slattery for "Red and Black Plaid Pants"
35 votes
30.4 %
Clive Anderson for "Suits (various)"
15 votes
13.0 %


7. The Imaginatively Titled Twiglet for Best Prop Use - Winner: Ryan Stiless/Colin Mochrie for "How many scoops?"
 
Chip Esten for "Boy your poodle's well hung!" (mop end)
15 votes
12.5 %
Colin Mochrie for "Hey giant, stop peeing on the Alps!" (yellow triangle)
21 votes
17.5 %
Mike McShane for "Hello, welcome to Clive's dream!" (hose)
16 votes
13.3 %
Niall Ashdown for "Lobster Man is here!" (pacmen)
6 votes
5.0 %
Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie for "How many scoops?" "Five hundred!" (large cone)
31 votes
25.8 %
Ryan Stiles for "Your elephant's got a temperature of 102..." (crayon)
26 votes
21.7 %
Stephen Fry for "Saliva" (bubblewrap)
5 votes
4.2 %


8. The Ryan Stiles Twiglet for Worst Thing Consumed in Hands Through - Winner: The Dog Food
 
The Aftershave
28 votes
23.3 %
The Bree
10 votes
8.3 %
The Dog Food
59 votes
49.2 %
The Ketchup
8 votes
6.7 %
The Peanut Colada
15 votes
12.5 %


9. The World Crisis Monitor Twiglet for Best Superhero - Winner: Ryan Stiless for "Leg Humping Man"
 
Colin Mochrie for "Bimbo Woman"
8 votes
6.7 %
Ryan Stiles for "Captain Hallucination"
12 votes
10.0 %
Colin Mochrie for "Continuous Unfunny Pun Man"
20 votes
16.7 %
Steve Frost for "Laughing Nymphomaniac Woman"
8 votes
6.7 %
Ryan Stiles for "Leg Humping Man"
28 votes
23.2 %
Colin Mochrie for "Mispronunciation Boy"
21 votes
17.5 %
Colin Mochrie for "Rhyming Couplet Kid"
23 votes
19.2 %


10. The Twiglet Twiglet for Best Party Quirk - Winner: Colin Mochrie for "All Seven Dwarves"
 
Colin Mochrie for "All Seven Dwarves"
33 votes
27.3 %
Ryan Stiles for "Animals Crossing the Road"
5 votes
4.1 %
Ryan Stiles for "Attached to the Door by Elastic"
22 votes
18.2 %
Ryan Stiles for "Baby Learning to Walk"
19 votes
15.7 %
Ryan Stiles for "Come to Ride Tony's Camel"
6 votes
4.9 %
Colin Mochrie for "Experiencing Too Much Gravity"
26 votes
21.5 %
Rory Bremner for "Thinks he's Tony"
10 votes
8.3 %


11. The Colin Mochrie Twiglet for Getting Out of a Song - Winner: Christmas Hoedown (heart attack)
 
Any Faintings
17 votes
14.2 %
The Banking March: "Of pounds, of francs... Instrumental!"
14 votes
11.7 %
The Being Stood Up Hoedown: "Here I've been waiting! No call! (storms off)"
15 votes
12.5 %
The Christmas Hoedown: "My cholestorol is high and... (heart attack)"
31 votes
25.8 %
The Gambling Hoedown: "I'm rich! I don't have to do this! I can do anything I like!"
16 votes
13.3 %
The Vasectomy Surgeon Hoedown: "I will now sing German in my next verse. Ich lieber... uber trampolinin!"
27 votes
22.5 %


12. The Audience Twiglet for Best "Whose Line" Line - Winner: "Take me, bbig boy, and kiss me like there's no tomorrow!"
 
"Does it usually throb like that?"
24 votes
20.7 %
"Grease me up, I'm getting in!"
11 votes
9.5 %
"It's time for the royal spanking!"
7 votes
6.0 %
"Stop tap dancing, you fool!"
2 votes
1.7 %
"Take me, big boy, and kiss me like there's no tomorrow!"
30 votes
25.9 %
"You must dance for me while I name some vegetables!"
24 votes
20.7 %
"You think more of that damn monkey than you do of me!"
18 votes
15.5 %


13. The Deep See Nazi Captain Twiglet for Best Credit Reading - Winner: "As Tony"
 
Colin Mochrie for "In As Many Positions As Possible"
25 votes
21.2 %
Greg Proops, Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles for "As Tony"
35 votes
29.6 %
Greg Proops and Ryan Stiles for "Pitching a Movie Idea to the Boss"
16 votes
13.6 %
Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie for "Two Guys Waiting for the Bathroom"
18 votes
15.3 %
Tony Slattery, Steve Steen, Jim Sweeney and Mike McShane for "Two in a Fight, Two Trying to Stop Them"
11 votes
9.3 %
Tony Slattery for "Soap Opera"
13 votes
11.0 %


14. The Dan Patterson Swooping Twiglet for Worst Credit Reading - Winner: John Sessions for "Any credit reading"
 
John Sessions for "Any credit reading"
44 votes
39.7 %
Rory Bremner for "Any credit reading"
5 votes
4.5 %
Chip Esten for "Auctioneer"
10 votes
9.0 %
Colin Mochrie for "Most Frustrated/Angry Man in the World"
6 votes
5.4 %
Greg, Josie, Mike, Paul, Sandi and Tony for "Christmas Carolers"
10 votes
9.0 %
Peter Cook for "New York Cab Driver"
21 votes
18.9 %
Ron West for "Prisoner on Death Row"
15 votes
13.5 %


15. The Most Improved Improviser Twiglet - Winner: Colin Mochrie
 
Steve Frost
26 votes
22.0 %
Josie Lawrence
11 votes
9.3 %
Mike McShane
3 votes
2.6 %
Colin Mochrie
50 votes
42.4 %
Brad Sherwood
28 votes
23.7 %


16. The Steve Frost Twiglet for Best Crack-Up - Winner: Greg Proops and Ryan Stiles for "The Dead Bodies Kiss"
 
Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and Tony Slattery for "You've turned into Richard Burton"
3 votes
2.5 %
Greg Proops and Ryan Stiles for "The Dead Bodies Kiss"
34 votes
28.1 %
Greg Proops for "Just Put Your Breast There And... Flbbbbb"
11 votes
9.1 %
Greg Proops for "Tony Splits His Pants"
24 votes
19.8 %
Rory Bremner for "Is Sperm Your Favourite?"
9 votes
7.4 %
Tony Slattery for "Rory doing Tony in Party Quirks"
33 votes
27.3 %
Tony Slattery for "And Then I Kissed A Labrador And Then I...."
7 votes
5.8 %


17. The Compilation Twiglet for Funniest Stuff-Up - Winner: Tony Slatteery for "Party Quirks F*** Off!"
 
Clive Anderson for "Fishing Rap"
4 votes
3.4 %
Clive Anderson for "Old Knob, New Knob"
6 votes
5.0 %
Josie Lawrence for "Alphabet"
12 votes
10.0 %
Colin Mochrie for "Banking March Instrumental!"
24 votes
20.0 %
Ryan Stiles for "Nightmare Hoedown"
13 votes
10.8 %
Tony Slattery for "Party Quirks F*** Off!"
61 votes
50.8 %


18. The Untitled Twiglet for Funniest Moment - Winner: Tony Slattery for "Realising Rory is Imitating Him"
 
Clive Anderson for "Fishing Rap"
1 vote
0.8 %
Colin Mochrie for "Dinosaurs"
31 votes
26.1 %
Ryan Stiles for "Taxidermist"
4 votes
3.4 %
Tony Slattery for "Eating Dog Food"
3 votes
2.5 %
Tony Slattery for "Realising Rory is Imitating Him"
35 votes
29.4 %
Tony Slattery for "Party Quirks F*** Off!"
17 votes
14.3 %
Tony Slattery for "Splitting His Pants"
28 votes
23.5 %


19. The Authors Twiglet for Funniest Line - Winner: "This courtroom is a Mochrie!"
 
"Are you Jewish?"
1 vote
0.8 %
"Can brothers survive if forced to eat lentils and live in a tent?"
3 votes
2.5 %
"I'm a doctor!...Well... not a real one!"
16 votes
13.2 %
"Hey, who invited the chicks?"
10 votes
8.3 %
"I love the Dutch!"
4 votes
3.3 %
"It's poultry in motion!"
15 votes
12.4 %
"Someone's coming in my ear..."
12 votes
9.9 %
"This courtroom is a Mochrie!"
37 votes
30.6 %
"Oh, I know, you're doing tai-chi!... No, I'm just a wanker."
8 votes
6.6 %
"What are you doing with that squeezy bottle?"
15 votes
12.4 %


20. The Tuneless Twiglet for Worst Song - Winner: John Sessions for "Any Song"
 
John Sessions for "Any Song"
45 votes
38.1 %
Josie Lawrence and Mike McShane for "Cat Litter Duet"
1 vote
0.9 %
Greg, Colin, Ryan and Brad for "Making Cheese Hoedown"
13 votes
11.0 %
Josie Lawrence for "Any Heavy Metal Song Styles"
38 votes
32.2 %
Josie Lawrence for "Stapler Irish Jig (song styles)"
6 votes
5.1 %
Josie Lawrence for "On the M25 (song styles)"
8 votes
6.8 %
John Sessions for "TV Set Folk Song (song styles)"
7 votes
5.9 %


21. The Bartender's Twiglet for Best Song - Winner: Tony and Mike for "In Love With The Bartender"
 
Tony Slattery and Mike McShane for "Angry About His Middle Name (Bartender)"
15 votes
12.7 %
Tony Slattery and Mike McShane for "Angry About His Clothes (Bartender)"
5 votes
4.3 %
Tony Slattery and Mike McShane for "In Love With The Bartender"
24 votes
20.3 %
Ryan Stiles and Mike McShane for "Queen Roy (Bartender)"
12 votes
10.2 %
Josie Lawrence and Caroline Quentin for "The Beached Whale Duet"
21 votes
17.8 %
Josie Lawrence and Mike McShane for "The Cat Litter Duet"
22 votes
18.6 %
John, Paul, Josie and Archie for "The Guard on the Northern Line Opera"
7 votes
5.9 %
Niall Ashdown for "Love Song to Drew The Stripper"
11 votes
9.3 %
John Sessions for "TV Set Folk Song"
1 vote
0.9 %


22. The Cutting Room Floor Twiglet for Worst Individual Game - Winner: Any Authors
 
Alphabet with Josie and Sandi
19 votes
16.2 %
Any Authors
43 votes
36.8 %
American Musical - going to a party, maze, and going gliding
5 votes
4.4 %
American Musical - puberty, seeing a TV show recorded, a cup of tea
15 votes
12.8 %
Film Dub - B&W robots (from the pilot)
6 votes
5.1 %
Hoedown - Space Travel Hoedown
8 votes
6.8 %
Panel - smoking
21 votes
17.9 %


23. The ROTFL Twiglet for Best Individual Game - Winner: Party Quirkks - Dwarves, cameras, Animals crossing
 
Expert Translation - Volvos
13 votes
10.7 %
Film Trailer - The Creature from Essex
6 votes
5.0 %
Opera - Guard on the Nothern Line
5 votes
4.1 %
Party Quirks - All 7 Dwarves, cameras, Animals Crossing the road
65 votes
53.7 %
Questions Only - front desk of a hotel
10 votes
8.3 %
Scene To Music - Washing Powder
3 votes
2.5 %
World's Worst - person to sit next to on a plane
19 votes
15.7 %


24. The Fast Forward Twiglet for Worst Game - Winner: Authors
 
Authors
56 votes
47.9 %
Hoedown
9 votes
7.7 %
Musical
7 votes
6.0 %
Panel
9 votes
7.7 %
Rap
17 votes
14.5 %
Song Styles
8 votes
6.8 %
Song Titles
11 votes
9.4 %


25. The Unhappy Twiglet for Worst Contestant - Winner: John Sessions
 
Peter Cook
25 votes
21.7 %
Archie Hahn
18 votes
15.6 %
George McGrath
11 votes
9.7 %
John Sessions
36 votes
31.3 %
George Wendt
25 votes
21.7 %


26. The Golden Twiglet for Best Game - Winner: Party Quirks
 
Dead Bodies
11 votes
9.1 %
Film Dub
2 votes
1.7 %
Hands Through
11 votes
9.1 %
Party Quirks
60 votes
49.5 %
Whose Line
15 votes
12.4 %
World's Worst
22 votes
18.2 %


27. The Ultra-Special Platinum Whoser Twiglet for the Best Contestant - Winner: Ryan Stiles!
 
Steve Frost
1 vote
0.8 %
Josie Lawrence
2 votes
1.7 %
Paul Merton
5 votes
4.2 %
Colin Mochrie
26 votes
21.7 %
Greg Proops
7 votes
5.8 %
Tony Slattery
19 votes
15.8 %
Ryan Stiles
60 votes
50.0 %