WL SURVIV0R: Episode Three

Sixteen Whose Line performers have been marooned on a remote island.
To survive, they must outwit, outplay and outperform each other in various improvisational immunity challenges.
Every two days they attend a meeting of the Whoser council, where one contestant will be voted off the island.
But in the end, there can be only one - WHOSE LINE SURVIVOR.



JEFF: Time to tally up the votes.

(disappears into the bushes. A cry of "eewww... gross!" is heard, followed by the beeping of a calculator)

JEFF: Okay. We have the results. And the first vote goes to... Steve.
STEVE: Hmm.
JEFF: Second vote... also goes to Steve.
STEVE: Oh.
JEFF: The next vote... Josie.
JOSIE: Ugh?
JEFF: And a vote for Mike.
MIKE: Huh?
JEFF: Another one for Mike.
MIKE: Whoah!
JEFF: A third for Mike.
MIKE: Wha...?
JEFF: That's three for Mike, two for Steve, one for Josie. And this one makes four for Mike.
MIKE: Ooh.
JEFF: Five for Mike.
MIKE: Mmmm.
JEFF: Six for Mike. There are only three votes left, so we don't need to count those, but I can tell you that they were all for Mike anyway.

MIKE: Bugger.
JEFF: The flaming twiglet represents your life on the island. We now extinguish it... hang on... darn thing won't go out. Troy, can you get me that fire extinguisher... ? Thanks. Damn. Still not out... yes, I know that, I'm trying! Troy... take this twiglet down to the beach and stick it underwater for a while, will ya? Thanks. A ha ha... and we'll just assume that the twiglet is now out. See you Mike.
JOSIE: I'll catch up with you later, Mikey! :)
TONY: What?!!!
JEFF: And the rest of you can go get some sleep.



JIM: Well at least we could all fit in the hut last night.
JOSIE: Jim! How dare you!
TONY: (walking up the beach) My cod! I've got a terrible haddock from last night...
STEVE: Have you caught ut tome fith then?
TONY: You worked it trout!
JOSIE: Well, you can stop the Paul impression then.



RYAN: And that's how the liquid gets into chalk.
COLIN: My goodness. I never knew that.
KAREN: Me and Denny have finished preparing the rice...
RYAN: I'd like to thank you, but frankly rice just doesn't excite me any more.
GREG: Hey, you guys... we've just been down on the beach playing 'Wheel of Fish'.
BRAD: I spun up some whiting.
CHIP: You want white or red wine with that?
RYAN: I don't really care - just don't give me that colored water!



PAUL: Hang on, there's someone at the microwave.
RICHARD: Didn't you get kicked off the island a few days ago?
PAUL: Damn. But hey... didn't you forget to join the team?
RICHARD: Bugger... hey, wanna start our own tribe?
PAUL: I like it!



TONY: Hey, there really is someone at the microwave.
JIM: The World Crisis Monitor buzzing again?
STEPHEN: Let me take this one. It says...



GREG: You're stuck upon this island, feeling lost and alone.
No creature comforts for you here, it's really not like home.
But we've a little comfort for you, for immunity,
Just make us feel like buying any old dodgy CD!"



JEFF: Well, welcome to the challenge. As you may have guessed, four members of each team will be invited to sell a Greatest Hits CD.
TONY: Wish we'd kept Mike now!
JIM: Yeah. They have Colin, Ryan, Wayne AND Brad!
KAREN: They have us too!
DENNY: Shh... we haven't been asked to play in this game!
JEFF: Clive, give us a couple of songs from "Hits of the Original Survivors"

JIM: Hi, and welcome to the show.
STEVE: We have a fantastic deal for you here today. Don't we?
JIM: We do. An amazing, wonderful deal that you will just want to buy. Because that's what you do with deals.
STEVE: And what better deal can there be than this classic Elvis song, "Shove That Rice Where The Sun Don't Shine".

JOSIE: Woohoo. Oh-huh-huh.
Well, you've served me rice again,
Eaten it always since I don't know when,
Why do you keep giving me that rice?
I'm gonna take that rice for fun,
And shove it up where there's no sun,
And believe me baby, that won't be nice.
JOHN: I got that rice now baby, gonna put it there,
Then I'll take all of the fish and I'll stick it in your hair.
So baby take that rice, and dump it on the floor,
Cause I am sick of eating this, and I don't want no more.

JIM: Ah, reminds me of the olden days when CDs were cheap.
STEVE: And is this cheap?
JIM: In price or content?
STEVE: Well, surely not in content... ahaha... because it also has some all-time great hits.
JIM: Indeed. And some modern hits too, like this song from Britney Spears, "Catch My Sea Snake".

JOHN: Ooh, I've been in the ocean, babe,
Tryin' to catch that fish.
But now I'm having so much fun,
And I just have one wish!
JOSIE: Come and feel my sea snake,
It's swimming in the lake.
It's slithery and fun for goodness sake,
So come and feel my sea snake.

JEFF: Whoohoo! I'll sure buy that one. But can the experts do better? Carey, I'd like you to try the same topic.

COLIN: Hi.
RYAN: Hi.
COLIN: We have a fantastic deal for you here today.
RYAN: Do we?
COLIN: Ye-es... a fantastic six...teen CD set with all of your old favourites.
RYAN: Does it include this one?
COLIN: Why else would we mention it? What song is that?
RYAN: It's that new Backstreet Boys hit, "My Name's Rudy and I Just Don't Know."

WAYNE: Oooohhh, baby.
BRAD: Well you know my name is Rudy,
I'm living on this island.
And if I keep real quiet, maybe
The gay guy will be my friend.
WAYNE: But when it comes to the challenge,
And I have to answer the quiz,
I'll run around in the forest,
But prove to be a bit of a ditz.
BOTH: Well my name's Rudy and I just don't know,
WAYNE: Even though I am tryin' so.
BRAD: Don't ask me 'bout that alliance,
Or my mates will think I'm in that guys' pants.
BOTH: I'm Rudy and I just don't know,
BRAD: And I'm afraid I'll have to go.
WAYNE: 'Cause I'm getting weird and old,
And I just can't hold onto that pole.

RYAN: Aw, a real classic there.
COLIN: And we have many more classics on this album.
RYAN: Such as?
COLIN: Well how about this great jazz hit, "What's Up With The Stupid Challenges?"

BRAD: Stuck here on an island (WAYNE: Da boo da be be)
Playin' this here game. (WAYNE: Whoohoo)
Tryin' to win the money, (WAYNE: Da boo da da)
But the challenges seem the same, ba ba ba!
WAYNE: Can't they think of something (BRAD: Ooh)
Something smart for us to do? (BRAD: Hey!)
I mean we're out here stuck on nowhere, (BRAD: Yeah!)
And they ask us to sing a tune.
BOTH: What?!!! (BRAD: I said what?!)
What?!!! (WAYNE: Yeah, what?!)
BRAD: What's up with these f---ing stupid challenges?
WAYNE: Whooooh!!

JEFF: Marvellous. In fact I'd buy both of these CDs. However, Carey, you dissed my challenges. So you're going to the council.



(the contestants enter and bang on the gong. Colin pretends to bang on the gong, and Ryan makes the sound for him)

JEFF: Well, another exciting couple of days on the island. Guess you're getting pretty sick of rice, huh?
RYAN: HAAA!
CHIP: Yeah, you could say that.
JEFF: Well, there are two extinguished twiglets here already, representing two members of Clive who were voted off. But now it's your turn. So, over to the Whoser Council - who is leaving the island this time?

Your choices are: Ryan, Colin, Greg, Brad, Wayne, Karen, Denny and Chip.


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