WL SURVIV0R: Episode Twelve

Sixteen Whose Line performers have been marooned on a remote island.
To survive, they must outwit, outplay and outperform each other in various improvisational immunity challenges.
Every two days they attend a meeting of the Whoser council, where one contestant will be voted off the island.
But in the end, there can be only one - WHOSE LINE SURVIVOR.

JEFF: And I told her "you'll never see me naked again."
DAN: Jeff... we're still rolling.
JEFF: Sorry... I'll just go tally up the votes.

RYAN: The thought of Jeff naked is just... (shudders) ewwww...
GREG: Ryan, you were kicked off a couple of councils back, now will you please LEAVE???!
RYAN: Sorry, I thought nobody had noticed.

(JEFF returns)

JEFF: I've tallied up the votes, and it was a draw. So I had to go through a hand recount, there was some legal trouble with the island gods and I came up with about five different totals, but eventually I've figured out that this week's loser is... Stephen.

STEPHEN: Darn it.
JEFF: You've also been voted in as President of the US, which is probably a perfect job for a loser. As for the rest of you, you can fly back to camp.
WAYNE: Erm... we didn't bring the plane...
JEFF: Whyever not?
WAYNE: We haven't been able to use it since Josie was kicked off... she was the only one who could fly.
RYAN: I told you we should have kept her on.

BRAD: ...and boil until the word 'chutzpah' is partially obscured.
COLIN: So then you just turn it out, I guess.
BRAD: Exactly.
TONY: (walks over) Guys, I've been thinking about that Council last night. That secret message on the arrow was freaky.
GREG: (offscreen) Help! Help!
(they run over and find he's fallen into a bear pit)
WAYNE: (reaches down to lift him) Hey man, what happened?
GREG: I was just heading along the beach to the crisis monitor and I fell into this thing... it was pretty well hidden...
RYAN: That's weird.
COLIN: GO!!!!!


BRAD: Well we should check the monitor.
WAYNE: Hey, I'm not touching it!
COLIN: I'll do it... (zap) ow! It shocked me!

MONITOR: You/have/TWO/messages//Playing/back/message/ONE//(beep)

STRANGE VOICE: I warned you. Hand over Dorothy or the accidents will continue.
(a wisp of smoke comes from the machine)

MONITOR: Playing/back/message/TWO//(beep)

JEFF'S VOICE: Good morning, angels. I have a challenge for you. Come to the big rock near the island mooring point at 7 o'clock tomorrow. And be ready to count.

JEFF: Hi everybody!
JEFF: Time for a quick game of Number of Words. Remember, whoever gets kicked off tonight just misses out on all the cheesy advertising tie-ins. The scene is "the Titanic hits the iceberg". And your numbers are... Colin, 3 words. Greg, 2 words. Wayne, 5 words. Tony, 4 words. And Brad, one word. Take it away.

GREG: Fine evening.
COLIN: Isn't it lovely.
GREG: See anything?
COLIN: No-thing yet.
GREG: Lemme know.

WAYNE: May I have this dance?
TONY: I'd be delighted to.
WAYNE: That's great then, let's go.
TONY: Ooh, you are fun.
WAYNE: Fun, that's me, that is.
BRAD: Hey!
TONY: Who might you be?
BRAD: George!
WAYNE: Mildred, what are you doing...
BRAD: Here...?!
WAYNE: Yes, that's exactly my question.
BRAD: Bastard!
WAYNE: I can explain it, honey!
TONY: Is this your wife?

COLIN: Iceberg, dead ahead!
GREG: Oh no!
COLIN: Should I turn?
GREG: No, we...
COLIN: ...wouldn't make it.
GREG: Yes, exactly.
TONY: What's going on up here?
COLIN: Heading for disaster...
TONY: Oh my God, no...
BRAD: Iceberg!
WAYNE: Get to the lifeboats, now!
BRAD: Quick!
GREG: What lifeboats?
COLIN: Oh my God...
TONY: What do we do?
BRAD: ... duck?
GREG: Great plan.
WAYNE: Can't you call for help?
COLIN: Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
GREG: Look out!
TONY: We're going to hit!
GREG: Oh shit.

JEFF: (BUZZ) Well, a great effort from everyone there. But I'm awarding immunity to... Wayne, who did a tough job on the most words and didn't screw up. The rest of you can start panicking. And maybe packing too.

(the tribe members enter displaying various quirks)

JEFF: Welcome, tribespeoplepersons. Time for another voting round, and another person to leave the island. We've improved the process a little, and replaced the punch cards with a big touch screen that says "press here" for each candidate, so hopefully the voters will be smart enough to figure out who they're voting for this time. We've also tied Ryan up out the back so he can't interfere. But still, they have a tough decision to make - will it be Greg, Brad, Tony or Colin who leaves the island?

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