Episode Guide

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9.01

1. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Rory - Princess Diana, Colin - 1940s gangster squealer, Ryan - Hollywood star doing photo shoot.
2. Animals: Colin a sheep being comforted by his mother (Greg) after a bad first date with the local stud ram (Ryan).
3. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Longer Than I Am Wide". Colin (co-anchor) - listening to a horse race on his walkman while the show's on and his horse is actually winning, Rory (sports presenter) - Bill Clinton, Ryan (weatherman) - turning into a werewolf.
4. World's Worst: Person to present a 'Joy of Sex' video.
5. Props: Colin & Ryan - three linked rings (snowman outline), Greg & Rory - black tubes/ship funnels.
6. Newsflash: Nudist colony. Ryan & Colin anchor, Rory reports.
7. Mission: Impossible: Putting on a pair of tights and waxing a bikini line. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
8. Hoedown: World Leaders.

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9.02

1. Superheroes: Perishing elastics (and painful nipple erections). Greg - Mr Muscle/Mr Zimmer (Walker) Man, Ryan - Seductive Eating Man, Colin - Incoherent Boy, Karen - Shampoo Commercial Girl.
2. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Karen - A call girl, Colin - first-time nudist, Ryan - thinks Greg is the ugliest woman in the world.
3. World's Worst: chat-up (pick-up) line.
4. Dead Bodies: A boyfriend and a girlfriend on a beach (Ryan & Karen - start dead) when a muscular rival (Greg - enters and dies) comes along. Colin moves.
5. Mission: Impossible: Catching hairy caterpillars. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
6. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. Karen - infomercial for exercise equipment, Colin - keeps waking up during an operation, Ryan - dog in a car.
7. Hoedown: Giving birth.

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9.03

1. Questions Only: Scenes from a passionate French love story.
2. Sound Effects: Arriving at the honeymoon suite with his wife on the wedding night. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
3. Number Of Words: Frankenstein. Ryan - Dr Frankenstein (3 words), Colin - monster (2 words), Mike - Igor (1 word), Brad - Chief of Police (5 words).
4. Hoedown: Tight Trousers.
5. Weird Newscasters: Brad - anchor "Bert Sandalwood". Colin (co-anchor "Carl") - a bad stand-up comedian, Ryan (weatherman) - Elvis Presley, Mike (sports presenter "Friendly") - has been sacked and this is his last day.
6. Party Quirks: Brad hosts. Mike - tyrannical European conductor, Colin - can't stop doing Riverdance, Ryan - various things caught in a tornado.
7. Moving People: Ryan on a very early emergency call to Colin's farm to deliver a calf.
8. Greatest Hits: Songs of the DIY centre (hardware store) - Ryan & Colin introduce, Brad & Mike sing.

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9.04

1. Questions Only: Scenes from Ancient Rome.
2. Film and Theatre Styles: Josie hijacking a plane, Stephen the pilot. Prisoner: Cell Block H, Bill & Ben, World War II Movie, American Soap Opera (Dynasty).
3. Sound Effects: Looking for thrills at a fairground. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
4. Number Of Words: Romeo & Juliet. Ryan - Romeo (3 words), Josie - Juliet (4 words), Stephen - Juliet's disapproving father, a Capulet (6 words), Colin - his wife, Lady Capulet (2 words).
5. Props: Colin & Ryan - orange 'tongue', Stephen & Josie - long bendy poles.
6. Let's Make A Date: Josie questions. Stephen - trendy vicar, Colin - hates everything English, Ryan - is eating a tremendously hot curry.
7. Newsflash: King Kong. Josie & Ryan anchor, Stephen reports.
8. Hoedown: Marital problems.

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9.05

1. Superheroes: Pants are getting too small. Greg - Captain Caterpillar/Caterpillar Man (and Captain Useless), Ryan - Cat Cleaning Himself Man, Colin - Nude And Proud Of It Boy, Steve - Nipple Tweak Boy.
2. Film and Theatre Styles: A top gun pilot (Greg) on an aircraft carrier, trying to get his plane checked because he needs it urgently, and a mechanic (Steve) trying to make the final adjustments. Hospital Drama, Swedish Porn Movie, Beavis & Butthead, Hammer Horror, Pride & Prejudice.
3. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Longer Than You Could Possibly Imagine". Ryan (co-anchor "Billy") - thinks he's back in 'Nam, Steve (financial correspondent) - a compulsive gambler, Colin (weathergirl "Sheila") - recently split up from Greg.
4. Moving People: Two high-tech criminals stealing a famous painting from the gallery - Ryan & Colin.
5. Props: Ryan & Colin - feathered rings, Greg & Steve - open-ended black cone.
6. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. Steve - prisoner on a roof-top protest, Colin - has a stomach full of fireworks, Ryan - someone's holiday snaps.
7. Sports Commentators: two rival businessmen sitting next to each other on an airplane. Steve (Jimmy Rowbottom) & Greg (Nubsoo Tucker) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
8. Hoedown: Weddings.

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9.06

1. Superheroes: Acid Rain. Colin - Captain Buttocks/Promiscuous Man, Ryan - Can't Move Without Hurting Himself Boy, Brad - Hilarious Punchlines Boy, Steve - Professor Hugs-Too-Hard.
2. Song Styles: Anna the Nurse. Brad (upbeat jolly love song).
3. Secret: Two frisky geriatrics in an old people's home - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in the commode.
4. Addicts Anonymous: Addicted to game shows. Brad runs, Colin, Ryan & Steve attend.
5. Sports Commentators: two hunks on the beach setting up their stuff, getting ready for a day sunbathing. Steve & Brad commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
6. Film Dub: Going on an expedition - Steve & Ryan.
7. Animals: Ryan & Colin gazelles with illegal substances, scared that the lion cop (Brad) is about to bust them.
8. Weird Newscasters: Brad - anchor "Peter Sprinkle". Colin (co-anchor "Dexter") - having a breakdown because he used to be the sole presenter of the programme, Ryan (weatherman "Simon") - being distracted by a couple making love in front of him, Steve (sports presenter "Chuck") - a rowdy football fan.

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9.07

1. Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan a scientist who's called his friend (George) around to help test his time machine. Oprah Winfrey, Sesame Street, Dubbed Martial Arts, Horror.
2. Superheroes: Shortage of jelly babies. Greg - Super Teddy Bear, Ryan - Mr Smooth, Colin - The Disco Kid, George - Talks Too Loud About His Personal Problems Man.
3. Secret: Pinocchio - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in the left nostril.
4. Film Dub: A dangerous mission - Colin, Ryan & Greg.
5. World's Worst: Person to share a flat/apartment with.
6. Props: Colin & Ryan - giant blue 'dog bowl', Greg & George - giant yellow bananas.
7. Three Of A Kind: In a laundrette - Greg, Ryan & Colin. All TV Evangelists.
8. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. George - 'Gone With The Wind' in 30 seconds, Colin - testing out rodeo horses of various sizes, Ryan - a fly caught between two windows.
9. Hoedown: Space Travel.

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9.08

1. Questions Only: Scenes from Star Wars.
2. Superheroes: Shortage of mascara. Greg - Wonder Woman, Ryan - Bad John Wayne Impression Boy, Colin - Pants Around The Ankles Boy, Debi - Nagging Jewish Mother Woman.
3. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Debi - Popeye, Colin - knows Greg's dirty secrets, Ryan - undergoing dental treatment.
4. Animals: Ryan a businessman taking a prospective business partner (Greg), both cockerels, to a go-go bar where they find Ryan's wife (Colin), a hen, who is about to perform on stage.
5. World's Worst: Television programme.
6. Props: Colin & Ryan - yellow 'shields', Greg & Debi - furry tube.
7. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Snide Anderson". Ryan (co-anchor "Captain Billy") - a crazy old man, Debi (sports presenter) - getting repeatedly massive electric shocks, Colin (weatherman) - desperate to catch a plane.
8. Moving People: Colin a girl checking into the Bates motel from Psycho, Ryan the motel owner.
9. Hoedown: Cricket.

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9.09

1. Questions Only: On Noah's Ark.
2. Film and Theatre Styles: Colin a policeman, come to investigate reports of a strange disturbance on Ryan's chicken farm. Star Trek, Riverdance, Jurassic Park.
3. Old Job, New Job: Brad introducing a fiancee (Ryan) to the father (Steve) who used to be a dog show judge.
4. Home Shopping: Waders with holes, chewing gum chewed by someone else already, solar powered torch - Ryan & Colin sell.
5. Quick Change: Colin telling a general (Brad) that they're under attack. Steve calls change.
6. Party Quirks: Brad hosts. Steve - strict German nanny, Colin - physically in love with food, Ryan - film extra in a bar room brawl.
7. Mission: Impossible: Mowing the lawn (and getting it generally cut, tidied, etc.). Steve briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
8. Greatest Hits: Songs of the Farmyard (Barnyard) - Ryan & Colin introduce, Brad sings.

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9.10

1. Questions Only: On a stag night.
2. Sound Effects: On a submarine about to submerge. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
3. Let's Make A Date: Brad questions. Steve - characters of 'Eastenders', Colin - Brad's annoyed flatmate, Ryan - a prisoner going stir crazy.
4. Remember That Song: Colin barman, Brad & Ryan people coming to the bar.
5. Press Conference: Steve as Snow White announcing she's pregnant. Brad, Colin & Ryan interview.
6. Narrate: Meeting on a sleeper train - Ryan & Colin.
7. Party Quirks: Steve hosts. Brad - Huggy Bear from "Starsky & Hutch", Colin - working on the underside of a plane when it takes off, Ryan - frog who turns into a prince and back again.
8. Hoedown: Worst Nightmares.

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9.11 (Compilation)

1. Questions Only: In the Olympic village - Greg, Rory, Colin & Ryan.
2. Film and Theatre Styles: Gorillas in the Mist - Ryan is a zoologist who's been living with gorillas for about 20 years, and Colin has arrived to tell him it's time to come home. Pirate Movie, Muppets, Western.
3. Let's Make A Date: Brad questions. Mike - dog making a dirty phone call, Colin - increasingly annoyed by Brad's stupidity, Ryan - channeling the spirits of Brad's dead relatives.
4. Song Titles: At the racetrack - Steve, Colin, Brad & Ryan.
5. Song Styles: Andy the account manager. Josie (big musical love song).
6. Sports Commentators: two guys at adjoining desks in an office. Greg & Rory (Murray Walker) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
7. Daytime Talk Show: Josie hosts, Stephen, Colin & Ryan discuss washing up.
8. Director: Greg & Ryan Alien, one of the members of the space ship isn't feeling too well. Colin directs. Constant double takes, upbeat musical, German strippers with a shoulder disability.
9. Song Styles: Pauline the car saleswoman. Brad (Britpop).

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9.12 (Compilation)

1. Film and Theatre Styles: Two glassblowers starting to get on each others' nerves - Ryan & Colin. Western, Lassie, Top Gun, My Little Pony.
2. Quick Change: Brad briefing Steve, a spy, about a dangerous mission. Ryan calls change.
3. Sound Effects: In a plane, waiting to parachute behind enemy lines. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
4. Animals: Ryan & Greg two pigs on their wedding night, when Colin, Ryan's ex-wife who he thought had been slaughtered, suddenly reappears.
5. Song Styles: Brendan (Gibbs) the policeman. Josie (Sondheim love song).
6. Backwards Scene: Two people (Ryan & Colin) are dead at the end of a saloon bar showdown (with Brad).
7. Home Shopping: Keys that definitely don't fit any lock, a piece/handfull of fluff, old asparagus - Ryan & Colin sell.
8. Three Of A Kind: Doing the housework - Greg, Ryan & Colin. All Ice Hockey players.
9. Party Quirks: Stephen hosts. Josie - The Queen getting involved in a pub fight, Colin - being chased on roof of speeding train, Ryan - Flipper trying to warn Stephen about various disasters.
10. Moving People: Captain Ahab and his first mate searching for Moby Dick - Ryan & Colin.
11. Hoedown: Space Travel.

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9.13

1. Film and Theatre Styles: Two men in a weather research station in the Antarctic, and one of them notices the other has started acting oddly - Ryan & Colin. Star Wars, Roman Epic, Muppets, Reservoir Dogs, World War II Weepy, Dirty Harry.
2. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. Steve - Scottish clan leader, Colin - has a death-wish, Ryan - desperately trying to get aroused.
3. Hey You Down There: Learning to scuba dive. Greg narrates, Colin & Ryan act.
4. Hats: World's Worst Dating Agency Video.
5. Number Of Words: Rumblings of mutiny on the Bounty. Ryan - Fletcher Christian (2 words), Colin - ship's cook (4 words), Steve - Captain Bligh (3 words), Greg - Polynesian Maiden (1 word).
6. Newsflash: Two horny rhinoceri. Greg & Colin anchor, Ryan reports.
7. Addicts Anonymous: Addicted to wrestling. Greg runs, Colin, Ryan & Steve attend.
8. Hoedown: Golf.

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9.14

1. Questions Only: Two couples who've been on a holiday and an affair has been going on.
2. Sound Effects: A fireman who gets a call-out. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
3. Film and Theatre Styles: Greg firing Karen from her job as a Red Riding Hood at the Fairy Tale Theme Park. Star Trek, Beavis & Butthead, Tennessee Williams.
4. Sports Commentators: rival hot dog salesmen. Greg (Scawwy Hawwy) & Karen (Hardly There) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
5. Props: Colin & Ryan - pink circle with a slit, Greg & Karen - giant metal spheres.
6. Home Shopping: an umbrella handle, somebody else's photos, cold onion gravy - Ryan & Colin sell.
7. Soap Opera: In a public toilets.
8. News Report: The extinction of dinosaurs. Greg - host Rock Hard, Colin - expert Peggy Lee, Karen - interviewer Sandy Bling, Ryan - Cro-Magnon Man and Clive Anderson's great great great great great great great great grandfather.

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9.15

1. Superheroes: Women & Wives causing trouble the world over. Colin - Constipation Man, Ryan - Embarrassed About Your Erection Boy, Brad - Captain Menu, Steve - Captain Crotch Grabber.
2. Let's Make A Date: Brad questions. Steve - a leprechaun, Colin - becoming increasingly ill, Ryan - hates people not finding him hilarious.
3. Secret: The Lone Ranger and Tonto - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in a gun holster.
4. Foreign Film Dub: "The Return of the Killer Tomatoes" in Polish. Brad & Colin act, Steve & Ryan translate.
5. Props: Ryan & Brad - plastic half-spheres, Steve & Colin - tied up foam rope.
6. Song Styles: Angela from the video shop. Brad (musical-end love song).
7. Film Dub: At the barber's - Steve, Colin & Ryan.
8. Sports Commentators: competing barbers sharing the same equipment. Brad (Pink Hardwood) & Steve (Timmy Shagpile) commentate, Ryan & Colin act.
9. Hoedown: Barristers.

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9.16

1. Film and Theatre Styles: Colin has a pet gremlin called Greg, but he forgot to heed the warning to keep him away from water. Braveheart, Australian Soap Opera, Woody Allen.
2. Old Job, New Job: George taking his wife, Greg out to a restaurant, Ryan the waiter who used to be a drugs squad officer/cop.
3. Let's Make A Date: Greg questions. George - builder on a construction site, Colin - trying to impress Greg with his seductive accents, Ryan - suffers from tremendous mood swings.
4. Foreign Film Dub: "The Return of the Chicken" in Turkish. Colin & George act, Ryan & Greg translate.
5. Press Conference: Colin claims that President Clinton exposed himself to him. Greg, George & Ryan interview.
6. Weird Newscasters: Greg - anchor "Terrifying Under The Sheets". Ryan (co-anchor "Rand McNally") - constantly moaning about his personal problems, George (sports presenter) - gets bizarrely/obsessively turned on by sport, Steve (weatherman) - always wanted to be a chorus line choreographer.
7. Mission: Impossible: Taking the car to the car wash. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.

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9.17

1. Film and Theatre Styles: Two scientists about to shrink themselves down to go into somebody's body - Greg & Ryan. Woody Allen, Sex Education Video, Kibuki, Riverdance, Horror.
2. Press Conference: Colin claims to have slept with every member of (the) royal family. Greg, Rory & Ryan interview.
3. Sound Effects: A New York cop who's on patrol in his car, and he gets called out to a drugs bust. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
4. Film Review: Barry Norman (Rory) reviews "Attack of the Giant Bananas", Greg, Colin & Ryan perform.
5. Secret: Esmerelda and the Hunchback of Notre Dame - Ryan & Colin. Secret hidden in the bell.
6. Picture: Everybody in a Tarzan scene.
7. Party Quirks: Greg hosts. Rory - John Motson on the pull, Colin - trapped outside a submarine as it starts to submerge, Ryan - trying to smuggle animals through customs in his underpants.
8. Hoedown: Winning the lottery.

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9.18

1. Let's Make A Date: Josie questions. Greg - from A Streetcar Named Desire, Colin - has an acute sense of smell, Ryan - a horny Frankenstein.
2. Sound Effects: Preparing for a joust. Colin acts, Ryan SFX.
3. Hoedown: Foreign Travel.
4. Hats: World's Worst Ad Campaign.
5. Mission: Impossible: Buying a pair of shoes. Greg briefs, Colin & Ryan act.
6. Greatest Hits: Songs of the Hospital - Ryan & Colin introduce, Josie sings.

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9.19

1. Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan has flown from another galaxy to tell Colin he is the only one that can save the planet. Playboy Channel, Religious Epic, Kung Fu, Speed, Playboy Channel.
2. Interrogation: Ryan has mooned the Queen. Steve & Brad interrogate.
3. Stand, Sit, Bend: Three 1940s gangsters blowing a safe, with the cops closing in - Brad, Colin & Ryan.
4. World's Worst: self improvement/teach yourself video.
5. Props: Ryan & Brad - long orange balloons, Steve & Colin - red circles with a hole in the middle.
6. Number Of Words: Brad - the madam of a brothel in the deep south (5 words). Colin - one of the girls (2 words), Steve - a customer who's also the mayor (4 words), Ryan - a policeman raiding the joint (3 words).
7. Foreign Film Dub: "The Return of the Bald Weasels" in Romanian. Colin & Brad act, Steve & Ryan translate.
8. Greatest Hits: Hits of the Locker Room - Ryan & Colin introduce, Brad sings.