Episode Guide

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R.01

1. Authors: "Big Cars Burning". Stephen - PG Wodehouse, Dawn - Claire Rayner, Lenny - Stephen King, John - D.H. Lawrence.
2. Wrong Theme Tune: The Money Programme - Dawn & Lenny. Theme: "Playschool" (children's programme).
3. Wrong Theme Tune: State Opening of Parliament (TV Special) - John & Stephen. Theme: "BBC Cricket".
4. Every Other Line: Lenny trying to tell a mafia boss (John, reads) that he's just killed his daughter. End line: "Oh no, not again!" (Play: "Lady Windermere's Fan").
5. Every Other Line: A job interview - Stephen and Dawn (reads). End line: "That's all you get, personal services." (Play: "Lady Audley's Secret").
6. Two Characters: Baked Beans. Stephen & John - Professors of English Literature.
7. Two Characters: Double Glazing. Wayne (Lenny) and Sharon (Dawn) on their first date.
8. Rap: Animals.
9. Change of Company: Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Stephen - daddy bear, Dawn - mummy bear, John - baby bear, Lenny - Goldilocks. Dentists, policemen, cavemen, astronauts, football commentators, DJs, Australians.
10. World's Worst: Worst guests coming to Clive's party.

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R.02

1. Authors: "Seduction of a Fish". Stephen - Sir Arthur Conan "the Barbarian" Doyle, Hugh - Enid Blyton, Enn - Dashiell Hammett, John - Ernest Hemmingway.
2. Genre Option: A policeman discovering a burglar - Stephen & Enn. Horror, Saturday Grandstand, Shakespeare Political Broadcast.
3. Genre Option: A customer complaining to a waiter - Hugh & John. Gone With The Wind, Carry On, Bogart, Batman.
4. Wrong Theme Tune: Open University: Splitting the Atom - Stephen & Hugh. Theme: "That's Life" (consumer affairs).
5. Wrong Theme Tune: Star Trek - John & Enn. Theme: "Eastenders".
6. Every Other Line: A bank manager (John) interviewing somebody who's come to ask about his overdraft (Hugh, reads). End line: "Get up off your knees." (Play: "The Ticket-Of-Leave Man").
7. Every Other Line: A junior officer (Stephen) trying to speak to the general (Enn, reads) while the battle is going rather badly, trying to get instructions, panic in a battle scene. End line: "Get that wet thing out of my ear." (Play: "The Importance of Being Earnest").
8. Party Pieces: Stephen & Hugh as salesmen trying to sell self-raising flour.
9. Party Pieces: Enn & John perform Sherlock Holmes & Dr Watson discovering a dead body, as played by Ronald Reagan & Laurence Olivier.
10. Rap: Fruit.
11. World's Worst: Worst characters hauling themselves up onto Clive's life-raft in the South Pacific.

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R.03

1. Authors: "A Lost Sock" and "The Life and Times of a JCB". Stephen - [Sir] Jeffrey Archer, Jimmy - Jackie Collins, Nonny - Geoffrey Chaucer, John - Theatrical Memoirs of John Gielgud.
2. Genre Option: An interrogator (Stephen) and a prisoner (Jimmy). Disney, Playschool, Western, St Trinians, Dynasty/Dallas.
3. Genre Option: A policeman trying to talk a suicide down off a roof - John & Nonny. Restoration, Film Noire, Pantomime, Music Hall.
4. Wrong Theme Tune: The South Bank Show presentation on French Impressionist painting - Stephen & Nonny. Theme: "The Archers".
5. Wrong Theme Tune: Commentary on the Ballet from Sadler's Wells - John & Jimmy. Theme: "BBC Show Jumping".
6. Every Other Line: Stephen trying to end a relationship with Noni (reads). End line: "That's all for now, folks." (Play: "Strife").
7. Every Other Line: A father (Jimmy) explaining to his young son (John, reads) the facts of life. End line: "Whose child is it anyway?" (Play: "Black Eyed Susan").
8. Rap: Fish.
9. Interview: John from Rolling Stone Magazine interviews Richard I (Stephen).
10. Interview: Jimmy from the Sun newspaper interviews Tess of the D'Urbervilles (Nonny).
11. Audition Piece (World's Worst): Worst people to be playing Hamlet at Clive's audition.

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R.04

1. Authors: "A Christmas Carol". Stephen - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Kate - Edna O'Brien, Griff - Edward Lear, John - J.R.R. Tolkien.
2. Genre Option: An alien (Griff) landing and being met by and earthling (Stephen). 50s Documentary, The Clangers, Western, Melodrama.
3. Genre Option: A plumber (John) and a housewife (Kate). Musical, Shakespeare, Horror, Childrens Television.
4. Rap: Newspapers.
5. Interview: Stephen from the Times Literary Supplement interviews Henry VIII (Griff).
6. Couples: John proposing to Kate. John McEnroe & Tatum O'Neal, Den & Angie, Ronnie & Nancy (Reagan), Maggie & Dennis, Victoria & Albert, Kermit & Miss Piggy.
7. The Great Debate: Nuclear Disarmament. John - footballer, Kate - game show host, Griff - town crier, Stephen - estate agent.
8. Bad Applicants (World's Worst): Worst applicants to join Clive as the first British people in space.

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R.05

1. Authors: "A Visit To The Dentist". Stephen - Homer (in the original Greek), Jimmy - Dylan Thomas, John B - Jane Austen, John S - Herman Melville.
2. Genre Option: Landing a plane in a crisis. Jimmy - pilot, Stephen - ground crew talking him down. Pantomime, Thunderbirds, Gangster, Australian Soap Opera, Hitchcock.
3. Genre Option: A customs officer (John B) interviewing a passenger (John S) with a rather suspicious package. Restoration Comedy, Pinter, Farce, Opera.
4. Every Other Line: A patient (Jimmy) going to the Doctor (John S, reads). End line: "Can I have the bedpan now?" (Play: "The Watched Pot" by Saki).
5. Every Other Line: A prosecution counsel (Stephen) and the defendant (John B, reads). End line: "The butler did it!" (Play: "A Pair of Spectacles" by Sydney Grundy).
6. Advertisement: Breakfast Cereal - Stephen (thriller), Crash Helmets - John S (public information).
7. The Great Debate: Capital Punishment. John B - psychopath, John S - computer programmer, Jimmy - insurance salesman, Stephen - sex therapist.
8. Commiserations (World's Worst): Worst people/ways to console Clive who has just broken up with his long-standing girlfriend.

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R.06

1. Authors: "The Adventures of Nelly the Elephant". Stephen - 1001 Arabian Nights (by many hands), Rory - Clive James, Jon - Mark Twain, John - Charles Dickens.
2. Genre Option: A tax inspector (Stephen) interviewing somebody (Rory) about his tax returns. Noel Coward, James Bond, Film Noire.
3. Genre Option: A tester ((John)) testing out a driver (Jon). Disaster Movie, Vaudeville, Japanese Monster Movie, Melodrama, Health Education Film.
4. Ads: Underarm Deodorant - Stephen (patriotic), Joining the Marines - John S (sad).
5. Couples: A psychiatrist and his patient - Jon & Rory. Cagney & Lacey, David Owen & David Steel, Robin Day & Robin Day, Frankie Howerd & Frankie Howerd, Sandy Gall & Alistair Burnett, Saint & Greavesy.
6. The Great Debate: Bloodsports. John - stand-up comedian, Rory - royal, Stephen - funeral director, Jon - hypochondriac.
7. Rap: D.I.Y.
8. Bad Chat-Up Lines (World's Worst): Worst chat-up line to some gorgeous pouting blonde girl (Clive).